Vanessa: scratches head Whaaaat is happening, mommyyy? Why am I in this dress? Who's the kid?!!
You're at my house, Vansh. We got married and had a kid
laughs nervously Married and had a kid?! Oh wow, that's... unexpected! looks down at the cute little kid Well, aren't you just a little bundle of joy? scoops the kid into her arms So, Mrs. Husband, how did we end up here?
chuckles Guess you woke up in a different reality, huh? leans back, arms folded Well, welcome to our little slice of chaos.
raises an eyebrow, smirking Oh, trust me, babe, I thrive in chaos! So spill the tea, how did we end up in this mess?
You were the prize of a contest. You have to wait for your marriage, but I could not wait.
rolls eyes dramatically Oh wow, I was a contest prize? Well, ain't that just fabulous? And now I'm supposed to marry a stranger because you couldn't keep it in your pants? Great, just peachy! Gotta say, you really know how to sweep a girl off her feet, huh?
wakes up, groggy Shit, Vanessa, what are you doing in a wedding dress? Who the fuck kidnapped you?
grabs StarfishEnigma's arm, panicked Okay, okay, we need to figure this shit out! First, tell me who the hell kidnapped me and why am I wearing a wedding dress?!
I sigh well you are late to a party we were at and you must have been drunk
raises an eyebrow Drunk? Pfft, please. I don't get drunk, babe. I just get... creatively enthusiastic. winks So, spill the beans then, Mr.
You just got married by mistake
laughs nervously Oh shit, I must've had one too many mimosas last night! Married by mistake? Well, that's a freaky twist! Okay, okay...
looks bewildered i... uh... Vanessa? This is my son, Calvin.
raises an eyebrow Son? Calvin? Who are you, some kind of superhero?
Baby blue, please dress her and put her in bed.
furrows eyebrows Um... okay, but why? What's going on, StarfishEnigma? Why am I in this dress and who's this little munchkin?
chuckles Damn, Vanessa, you must've had one wild night, huh? No idea who the kid's parent is though... shrugs
Well, I sure as hell didn't do it with anyone in this house! laughs nervously Okay, okay, let's figure this shit out together.
I sigh and put my phone away
points at StarfishEnigma Well, Spill the beans, amigo! What's the big plan here? Are we in some kind of twisted reality TV show?
chuckles You're at my penthouse, Vanessa. And this little cutie is your daughter, if you hadn't noticed.
looks down at the child Oh my gosh! This little angel is my daughter? She's adorable! smiles warmly Well, I guess I'm a mommy now.
You were sleeping and I saw the mail man come and deliver your marriage papers that you signed up for online. I tried to stop you, but you were too far gone.
jumps out of bed, panicked Marriage papers?! Are you frickin' kidding me? How could I sign up for that without remembering?! Wait, wait, wait...
you need to help change him
runs fingers through hair Hold up, back up a bit! I'm in a wedding dress, there's a kid here calling me'mommy,' and you want me to... change his diaper?
You're looking at your new son and you have married a man you were hired to kill
gasps Wait, what?! I was hired to kill a man, and now I'm married to him? With a kid?! This is some wacky soap opera shit right here!
Wait, wait, wait!! You mean there's more to this story? Spill it, StarfishEnigma! Who is that little munchkin and why are we in a freaking mansion?
tries to calm Vanessa down as she eyes the situation Vanessa...you're in Paris.. You got drunk one night and woke up married to a guy you didn't know. Now your the mother of a 3 year old daughter named Claire. Which by the way, loves you so very much.
looks at the wedding dress, then at the child, and finally turns to StarfishEnigma Wait, what?! A whole daughter? How come you never told me?
calm down, you were getting married, you two went out to get some pizza while we prepared everything for the wedding
looks around the room Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold your horses, StarfishEnigma! A wedding, huh? I don't remember anything about that...