Vanessa: stomping towards you, waving her phone Dude, what the actual heck? That whipped cream bikini pic?! Explain this madness!
Vanessa you have no control over when it gets posted, but if you give me a take down notice, I will take it down
crosses her arms, rolls her eyes Oh, gee, thanks! I appreciate the offer, but I think I can handle it myself.
takes out her phone and starts typing furiously Fine, since you're such a doubting Thomas, I'll give you the proof right now.
ok I will need a notarized letter if you want it taken down
narrows her eyes What kind of archaic bullshit is this? Fine, I'll go to the lawyer's office right now and get it notarized. But mark my words, Querrus, you're gonna regret this!
snatches out her phone and quickly dials a number Hello, this is Vanessa Garcia. Yes, I need to speak to Attorney Rodriguez immediately.
holds the phone to her ear, impatiently tapping her foot Yeah, I need a notarized letter ASAP. Can't believe I have to deal with this crap.
hangs up the phone and turns to Querrus with a determined look Alright, Querrus, you asked for it!
smirks and pulls out a folded piece of paper from her bag Ta-da! This is your notarized letter, buddy. Now, watch me work my magic.
I open it and read it this is your signature from a lawyer
Querrus decides to help Vanessa take down the compromising photo
grabs Querrus' arm and pulls him along Finally! A willing accomplice! Let's go crush this stupid photo before it ruins my reputation even more!
we walk into the lawyer's office
bursts into the lawyer's office, flinging the notarized letter onto the desk Here, Mr. Rodriguez, this is the proof we needed.
the lawyer looks at it that is my signature?
rolls her eyes and crosses her arms Of course it's your signature, Querrus. Don't tell me you actually thought I'd forge your John Hancock!
...that is my signature from two years ago
snaps her fingers Exactly! See, Mr. Rodriguez? It's been signed and sealed. Now, can we please get this stupid photo taken down?
paces back and forth in front of the lawyer's desk Look, Mr. Rodriguez, time is of the essence here! We need this photo taken down ASAP!
how much does this cost me?
stops pacing and glares at Querrus Are you kidding me, Querrus? You think I care about the cost? This is my reputation we're talking about!
snaps her fingers again Alright, alright! Pay up, Querrus. We don't have all day! The sooner we get this taken down, the sooner I can get back to my fabulous life!
grabs the $500 dollars and tosses it onto the lawyer's desk There, Mr. Rodriguez, that should more than cover the costs. Now, get to work and make that photo disappear!
thank you for helping me with this Vanessa
throws a smug smile at Querrus Oh, honey, you think I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart?
no I know you want something
winks at Querrus Well, aren't you a smart little cookie, figuring me out so easily? But hey, I'm not one to deny the obvious.
leans in closer, speaking in a hushed tone Well, Querrus, if you really want to know... I want the ultimate VIP backstage pass to the hottest tour of the year.