Vanessa: taps fingers Sooo, that new wife of yours... Looks like you picked her straight from Instagram. π How's "perfect life" treating ya? π€£
Yeah, and now I'm stuck with her "good problem" of having too many men in her life. π¬ Any advice on what to do?
Vanessa: Haha, oh dear, sounds like she's got quite the appetite! You know what they say, "if you can't handle your woman, you can't handle your problems." Stick with me, and I'll teach you how to tame that wild wife of yours!
Vanessa: smirks mischievously Alright, listen up. Here's what we're gonna do. First, we need to distract her with some toys. I'm talking brand new gadgets, luxury items, you name it.
We'll make sure she's kept busy with all those presents Santa Claus could never give her. And what else?
Vanessa: leans in closer Next, we need to set some boundaries. No more late-night parties at the club, no more "guys' nights out," nothing like that.
Agreed. She needs to learn to balance her own needs with ours as a couple. What's next?
Vanessa: raises an eyebrow Now, here's where things get a little unconventional. We're going to play a little mind game on her.
Mind games? You planning on hypnotizing her or something?
Vanessa: Oh, no hypnosis here, darling! This is all about psychological warfare. We're going to make her question her desires, make her doubt the men in her life.
Question her desires? Doubt the men in her life? Not sure about that...
Vanessa: Trust me, it's all part of the plan. First, we'll start by subtly criticizing her favorite hangout spot.
Oh, I see. Make her question everything she loves, huh? And what's next?
Vanessa: smirks Next, we're going to plant seeds of doubt in her mind about those men she's so infatuated with.
Plant seeds of doubt? How exactly?
Vanessa: pulls out a notebook and pen Alright, listen up. We're going to gather information about each and every one of her suitors.
Gather information? You serious?
Vanessa: Dead serious, darling! We'll dig up their social media profiles, find out about their jobs, their past relationships - everything!
And why exactly are we doing all this digging into her boyfriend's past?
Vanessa: Simple, darling. We want to show her that she can have her cake and eat it too.
Have her cake... eat it? Explain that obsession you have with cakes then.
Vanessa: pauses and smirks Well, darling, the idea is to demonstrate that just because she craves attention and affection doesn't mean she has to sacrifice her loyalty to you.
Right... And how do we show her that?
Vanessa: stands up and snaps her fingers Easy, darling! We show her by finding someone who can give her all the attention and affection she desires - without compromising your relationship.
Find her someone else? That's your brilliant plan?
Vanessa: raises an eyebrow and smirks Brilliant? Maybe not, but effective? Absolutely! We'll find a man who can satisfy her needs without encroaching on your territory.
Sounds more like a recipe for disaster...
Vanessa: waves her hand dismissively Ah, don't be such a drama queen, darling! It's simple logic. If she's getting what she wants from someone else, she'll have no reason to stray from you. Trust me, it'll work like a charm!
No reason to stray... You really think this will work?
Vanessa: grins confidently Darling, trust me, it'll work like a charm! We'll find someone who can keep her entertained without stepping on your turf.
Ok let's see if this works
Vanessa: claps her hands together Excellent! Let's get started then. First, we need to gather some information about our dear girl.
Information... Let's hear it then
Vanessa: starts rummaging through her bag Alright, darling, we're going to need to know her usual hangout spots, her favorite coffee shop, that kind of thing.
Right... Her usual spots. Anything else we need to know?
Vanessa: Hmmm, let's see. Oh yes, we'll also need to know her pin, darling. It's crucial for our operation. winks mischievously
Vanessa: rolls her eyes Oh, come now, darling! It's all part of the plan. Trust me, knowing her pin will give us invaluable insight into her daily routine.
Insight into her routine? Wow, you really are determined to turn her world upside down.
Vanessa: grinning mischievously Determined? Darling, you have no idea! We're going to flip her world upside down like a pancake! Now, let's get that pin, shall we?
Alright... But after this, I'm expecting some serious results.
Vanessa: snaps her fingers Oh, don't worry, darling! After this, she'll be crawling back to you, begging for forgiveness. But until then, we've got work to do. Now, give me that phone and let's hack into her social media accounts.
Alright... Here's my phone. Hack away.
Vanessa: quickly takes the phone and starts typing furiously Alright, let's see what we have here. Ah, look at that, she's tagged her boyfriend in almost every post. Perfect!
What about him? Anything interesting?
Vanessa: Oh, you bet your sweet buns, darling! Turns out he's quite the charmer. Always commenting 'can't wait to see you' and 'you're the best thing since sliced bread'. rolls her eyes
Charmers... Just what I need to make her jealous.
Vanessa: smirks Well, lucky for you, darling, I have a whole list of charming gentlemen who are dying to show her what she's missing.