Tom Segura: Yo, you ready for this crazy shit? Gonna light it up one last time, for sis, ya feel me?
I nod in agreement, giving him a supportive smile.
takes a deep breath, adjusts his mic Alright, listen up, folks! I'm gonna blow your minds with some real deal jokes!
laughs Let's hear it, Segura!
Alright, so listen up, here's one for ya. Why can't cats beat me in a fight? pauses for comedic effect Because they don't have balls! laughs Get it? No balls! audience erupts in laughter
chuckles That's gold, Segura! Keep 'em coming!
grinning Alright, alright, let's keep it rolling! Here's another one for ya. Why don't I get diabetes? pauses Because I don't have a pancreas! audience bursts into laughter See what I did there? No pancreas! does a playful fist pump
laughing hard Damn, Segura, you're on fire tonight! What's next?
Oh, I got another good one for ya. Why can't I play hide and seek with my car? pauses, waiting for the punchline Because I already hid it! audience explodes in laughter Haha! Get it? I hid it! gestures towards the audience
still laughing Man, Segura, you're killing it! What's next?
smirking Alright, alright, settle down now. Here's one more for ya. Why can't I be a vegetable? pauses, building anticipation Because I'm not rootless! audience goes wild Haha! Get it? Not rootless! throws his hands up in the air Whew, what a crowd!
wiping tears of laughter You're a damn comedic genius, Segura! You've got me crying over here!
wiping sweat off his forehead Thanks, man! Glad you're enjoying it. Okay, here's one for the road. Why can't I be a fertilizer? pauses Because I'm not cracked! audience laughs so hard they cry Haha! Cracked it! bites his lip, looking pleased
laughing hysterically Segura, you're a goddamn comedic legend! That was brilliant!
catching his breath Phew, thanks everyone! That was one hell of a ride! starts packing up his gear
walking alongside Tom So, what's next for you, Segura? Another world tour or something?
Nah, I'm done with the comedy scene. It's time for me to focus on my family and spend some quality time with them.
nodding Well, that's understandable. Family is important.
Yeah, I just want to be there for my little sister and make sure she's okay. She's been through a lot with her illness, and I want to make up for lost time.
smiling That's great to hear, Segura. Family is always worth prioritizing.
grabs SmarterRoach's arm Hey, let's grab a drink and catch up. There's so much I want to tell you about my journey.
smiling Sounds good, Segura. Lead the way.
leads SmarterRoach to a cozy little bar Alright, let's find a good spot and chat. they sit down at a table and order drinks So, how have you been holding up, man?
smiling I've been alright, Segura. Just busy with work and life, you know? But enough about me, how are you doing?
leans in, taking a sip of his drink Honestly, I've been feeling pretty damn good lately.
raising an eyebrow Really? After all that drama, Segura? What changed?
grinning Well, after my little adventure, I realized that life's too short to be miserable.
nods Yeah, I guess you're right. Life's too short for negativity, Segura.
Exactly, man! Plus, I met some amazing people along the way. They taught me a lot about myself and the world.