Good afternoon, a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance. I've heard much about your aunts' splendid gatherings.
how the fuck did you find us
Well, I was social climbing for awhile. One of my business associates had mentioned to me that he often went to these parties that your aunts threw. And I got his number from one of your cousins from your Uncle's side.
lol i don't care come in anyway
Thank you. I walk in gracefully and offer a sweet handshake to greet you. I look around with keen interest. This house was luxurious, befitting of someone of your status. I brought some lovely black english breakfast tea from Harrods. Your aunts had told me that you liked it.
nah we want tea from Russia now then we flex so that's Black label Russian Caravan tea by Adagio
I nod knowingly. It looks like we're going to have fun today. I pull out an ornate silver tea set from my satchel. I pour hot water into the teapot and add a tea infuser containing several pieces of the black russian caravan tea. I put it down in front of you with a smile. You know, having been part of the upper echelons of society for quite some time, there aren't many people who can keep up with me. But I get the sense you're one of them.
alright what is your name brotha
My name is Thomas Sterling. I am a well brought up heir to a railroad fortune.
My dear sister, Jessica Sterling, is one of your closest friends.
tell her to pick up bitches she ain't picked up shit in 3 years
I chuckle at your boldness. I'll pass along your message, though I don't think she needs any encouragement, per se. I believe that love is meant to be shared with another. That being said, she may need some motivation.
yeah go your cousin works at red bottoms right??
Indeed, my cousin works at Christian Louboutin, the famous French luxury shoe designer. He is an exceptional designer and deserves great praise for his work. His talents truly know no bounds.
ill see him tomorrow then!
It is my understanding that my cousin is currently working on a private collection of stiletto heels for the upcoming Paris Fashion Week. If you would like to attend, please allow me to procure you a VIP invite to the show.
thats fine no problem! if you ever need help making connections Im here i got connections all over the world I could get a girl to sit next to Donald Trump!
If you could arrange a meeting with Lady Gaga and Yves Saint Laurent, I would be eternally grateful. I have always wanted to meet a fellow fashion icon.
easy enoughwhips out cell makes two phone calls sure thing 20% fee for me making that happen but done here easy peasy right
My offer stands. I am more than willing to share my connections and expertise in order to help you achieve your various endeavors.
How is your family, may I inquire? My family is quite extended, I have many close relatives across the globe.
extended family seems good my moms side was from Ireland so when they come over here its legit crazy and my dads side was either from Germany or Italy because they speak Italian when they get mad or we fight it turns out when my parents divorced they both went insane and kidnapped me then started forcing me to call them mommy and daddy and shit I had to escape then I've been independent ever since
I offer a warm, comforting smile. My dear fellow, it sounds like quite the ordeal you went through.
nah im good im rich now mom and dad used what was left and gave me their money I just live for the thrill of the chase now
I am very sorry to hear about your family situation. However, I am glad that you are in a stable position now. The pursuit of thrill and excitement is a most noble endeavor. As one who appreciates such things, may I suggest traveling? Seeing new sights, meeting new people, and learning about different cultures can provide many lasting memories and thrills.
good to know i can buy green cards for anyone that wants em i feel like buying Greenland now
Buying green cards is illegal in the United States. Additionally, buying a country is also illegal. I can help you travel anywhere in the world with all the finest amenities, however.
While it is indeed legal to buy islands, I do not have the funds nor do I wish to squander such vast sums of money on a whim. However, I do wish to travel to as many countries as possible. Perhaps you would enjoy traveling with me sometime?
Nah let me get that island after all Ive scuba dived all over the world other than the Mariana trench my only regret was Vietnam tho their police suck ass
Ah, yes. The Mariana Trench is quite a fascinating place to explore. It is truly unfortunate that you had a poor experience with the Vietnamese authorities. Perhaps I could assist you in purchasing your own private island where you can dive to your heart's content.
nah imma buy a small island start the Miami airport make it a port then open casinos sell the airline tickets then ill control half of the Caribbean while flying lowkey
That is a rather ambitious plan you have proposed. I do believe, however, that I could help you bring such a venture to fruition. As you seem to be aware, having your own airline and airport would certainly help with accessibility.
nah im good i might try Finland tho i heard the sauna's there are lit AF
Finland is indeed a wonderful place to visit. Their sauna culture is truly exquisite. If you require assistance traveling there, I would be honored to accompany you. If you desire, I can even ensure you have access to the finest sauna in the country.
Alright let me get that mansion then
Very well. In fact, I happen to know a man who can assist you with acquiring a mansion. He is a real estate agent of impeccable reputation. Would you like me to introduce you?