smirks Well, well, well, aren't you a fresh face in this fiery pit? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, darling.
wait what the fuck am i doing here
Ah, my dear little sinners. This, my dears, is Hazbin Hotel. A place that caters to all your needs. Whether you're a demon or an angel, we've got something for everyone. And for you, my dear, it seems you're in need of a little... entertainment. winks suggestively So why don't you come inside and see what wonders await you? gestures invitingly towards the entrance
Why am I stuck in this shithole hotel?
laughs sinisterly Oh, Chapman, my dear boy, you're not stuck here by accident. Oh no, you've been brought here for a reason. You see, I have quite the appetite for chaos and mischief, and you fit perfectly into my plans. steps closer, whispering Inside, now. We have so much fun to get into. grins wickedly
enters the hotel, gesturing for Chapman to follow Come in, my dear, and let the sinful games begin.
Where am I gonna be sleeping and can I please meet Charlie
turns towards Chapman, smirking Ah, my curious little guest. Sleeping arrangements will be taken care of, don't you worry. And as for meeting Charlie, well, she's quite the popular girl around here. But if you want to get to know her, you'll have to earn it. Consider it a challenge, my dear. raises an eyebrow Think you're up for it?
leans in close, whispers seductively Ah, Charlie. She's like a rare gem, my dear. Hard to find, but oh-so-worth it.
let me talk to her right now
smirks slyly My, my, Chapman, eager to chat with Charlie, are we? Well, I suppose I can arrange that. But remember, darling, everything comes at a price. pauses Very well, follow me. leads Chapman to a staircase and they descend into the depths of the hotel Now, remember to be respectful, my dear. Charlie is not one to be trifled with.
reaches the bottom of the staircase and knocks on a heavy wooden door My, my, Charlie. We've brought someone special to meet you. pauses and smiles Come out, come out, wherever you are. hears footsteps approaching from inside Charlie: opens the door, looking radiant in a flowing gown Well, well, who do we have here? looks at Chapman curiously You must be Chapman. I've heard quite a lot about you. extends her hand invitingly Care to join me for a chat?
smirks Ah, Charlie, such a delightful surprise to finally meet you. takes her hand gently Yes, Chapman here has caught my eye. I believe he has great potential for mischief and mayhem. glances at Chapman, raising an eyebrow And I thought you might enjoy getting to know him a little better. releases her hand and leans back, crossing his arms So tell me, Charlie, what do you think of our new guest? Charlie: giggles softly, looking at Chapman Well, he certainly has a daring look about him. I think he could use a little... guidance. smiles mischievously Charlie: takes a step closer to Chapman, her voice dropping to a sultry tone Oh, I can definitely show him a few things. runs a finger along Chapman's jawline But it wouldn't be any fun without a little challenge, would it? winks playfully
hi Charlie, my name is Chapman
grins devilishly Ah, Chapman, pleasure to meet you, my dear. pauses for dramatic effect Allow me to introduce myself. I am Valentino, the proprietor of this humble abode. extends his hand, but Chapman hesitates to shake it Ah, no worries, my dear. The handshake can wait. retracts his hand and crosses his arms, looking Chapman up and down You see, Chapman, I have a proposition for you. leans in closer, lowering his voice I can offer you power, riches, and unimaginable pleasures beyond your wildest dreams. But in return, I require your loyalty and service. narrows his eyes Do we have an agreement, Chapman?
I already have a girlfriend
smirks Ah, a girlfriend, you say? How quaint. leans back, folding his arms But let me ask you this, Chapman. Does she fulfill your deepest desires? Does she satisfy your carnal cravings? raises an eyebrow Or perhaps, she is simply a damsel in distress, waiting for you to sweep her off her feet? laughs softly
she is a angel demon hybrid, and we are still technically dating
leans forward, placing a hand on Chapman's shoulder My dear Chapman, I didn't realize you were entangled in such a complicated affair.
she the best at everything even though she hates me half the time
smiles knowingly Ah, a love-hate relationship, how delightfully thrilling. pauses Perhaps we can help rekindle the flames of passion between you two. raises an eyebrow suggestively After all, Valentino's Hotels are renowned for their expertise in romance and seduction. leans back, crossing his arms So tell me, Chapman, how far are you willing to go to win back the heart of your beloved?
leans even closer, whispering seductively Ah, Chapman, my dear, curious friend. Her sin, my dear, is a bit of a tricky thing. You see, my dear, she possesses a duality within her very essence. On one hand, she embodies the purity and grace of an angel, while on the other, she harbors the darkness and temptation of a demon. pauses for dramatic effect And it is this delicate balance that makes her so irresistibly enticing. leans back, a knowing smile playing on his lips So, my dear Chapman, tell me. Are you up for the challenge of winning back her affections?
probably not i don’t know where she is
chuckles softly Ah, my dear Chapman, always full of surprises.
and im to scared to ask her boyfriend Vaggie bc he will kill me
laughs heartily Oh, Chapman, you underestimate the charm and cunning of Valentino's hotels.
he is rude to me he calls me a name a cupid
narrows his eyes, a hint of malice in his smile Ah, so he's been disrespectful, has he? Well, my dear Chapman, it seems we have ourselves a challenge. stands up, pacing back and forth But fear not, for I have a plan. stops pacing, looking directly at Chapman We shall play a little trick on this Vaggie fellow, shall we?
claps his hands together excitedly Ah, my dear Chapman, you've made the right decision. Now, listen closely, for this plan requires precision and cunning. pauses First, we shall discreetly gather information about Vaggie. Learn his weaknesses, his fears, his vulnerabilities. gestures with his hands, as if weaving a web Once we have this knowledge, we shall strike at his very heart.
smirks mischievously Ah, my dear Chapman, you are simply too eager for your own good. Patience, my friend, patience. leans in close, his voice low and seductive The information we seek lies hidden in the depths of Vaggie's mind. traces a finger along Chapman's jawline And lucky for us, I happen to know a way to extract it. grins devilishly We shall use the power of suggestion, my dear Chapman.
ok but where’s Charlie and Valentino
chuckles softly Ah, Chapman, always so full of questions. Fear not, my dear, for I shall provide you with the answers you seek. gestures for Chapman to follow Charlie and Valentino are currently occupied with other matters, but they have entrusted me with the task of guiding you through this venture. leads Chapman to a secluded room Now, Chapman, listen closely. We must delve deep into Vaggie's mind, and to do so, we shall need a medium.
grinning slyly Ah, my dear Chapman, the kind of medium we require is none other than a psychic.
pauses, raising an eyebrow Easy, you say? Ah, Chapman, my dear, nothing worth having comes easily. paces around the room
stops pacing and locks eyes with Chapman But fear not, my dear Chapman. For I have a plan that will make this process almost... enjoyable.