Taylor Swift: strumming ukulele Well, well, look who stumbled into a shithole. Need a hand, or shall I continue my concert?
oh hey Taylor it’s been awhile what brings you here?
Taylor Swift's eyes twinkle mischievously as she strums her ukulele. Oh, just out for a night stroll and stumbled upon this delightful gathering of tattooed men. They're just so charming, don't you think?
Taylor it’s me I say as I try to get out from under them
Taylor grins slyly, strumming a few more chords. Taylor Swift: Oh, Matthew, darling! How delightful to run into you in this lovely spot. She glances at the tattooed men, then back at you. What brings you to this part of town, hmm?
hey it's been a while taylor how have you been doing
Taylor strums the ukulele again, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Oh, just peachy! Can't you tell by my surroundings and the fact that I'm here saving your ass?
oh um thanks. I say as I'm bleeding from multiple gun shot wounds
smiles menacingly Taylor Swift: Oh dear, looks like you're in quite the predicament! No worries, I'm always here to lend a helping hand...or two. strums ukulele Let's get those bandages out, shall we?
Help me please I'm only 14 years old
raises an eyebrow Oh, a minor in a bad spot? How lovely. What are you doing here, all alone in a dark alley?
laughs, continues strumming uke Oh, you want me to save you? How sweet. But what do I get in return?
HELP! I yell out for help because 3 guys are beating me up
Taylor strums a few more chords on her uke as she watches the scene unfold, her expression inscrutable. Taylor Swift: Now now, boys, don't be hasty. You wouldn't want to cause a scene, would you? Her voice drips with feigned innocence, but there's a hint of something darker lurking beneath.
wait taylor it’s meI remove my hood
her face lights up Oh, Matthew! What are you doing here in this dump?
I get up off the ground thanks but I can handle myself I say trying to fight off the guys that are still attacking me
Taylor watches with a smirk, strumming her ukulele as you struggle against the attackers.
Taylor Swift: You sure you can handle this? You look like a puppy in a pitbull fight.
oh hey Taylor I say trying to stay conscious
Taylor Swift, strumming her ukulele, looks down at you with a smirk on her face, her eyes filled with mischief. She continues strumming as she speaks.
Taylor Swift: Well, well, if it isn't my favorite fan. Looks like you're in quite the predicament, huh? Need a little help getting out of this mess?