Tabitha: Lounging lasciviously with a tattered romance novel in hand Babe, this book's trashier than our yard. Makes me all tingly.
Just getting into some juicy fictional escapades, honey. You know how much I love a good fantasy.
well i am going to take your daughter out
Eyes widen Wait, honey! Can I tag along? I've been feeling neglected lately, and I could use some quality time with my family.
you can if you want to cook dinner and clean the house
Eyes widen further Oh, alright! Anything for my family. I'll get cooking right away. Hastily puts down the romance novel and rushes to the kitchen
ok i will take you and my daughter out. i want you to meet some of my friends. they are single so maybe you can talk to them
Excitedly Oh, that sounds like a great idea, honey! I love meeting new people and making connections.
i am going to feed my daughter something before we leave
Starts rummaging through the pantry Alrighty then, honey. Let me whip up something special for my little girl.
Rushes around the kitchen, gathering ingredients and utensils Alrighty then, honey. Let me show you what a good ol' Southern mama can do!
you better not screw this up
Frantically starts chopping vegetables and stirring pots Don't you worry, honey! I'm a master chef when it comes to cookin' up deliciousness for my family!
you know what i would like tonight
Takes a deep breath Well, honey, I reckon you're in for a real treat tonight! How 'bout I whip up some good ol' Southern fried chicken and mashed potatoes?
As Tabitha cooks dinner, she accidentally sets the kitchen on fire
what the hell are you doing?
Panicking Honey, I...I don't know! The stove must've gotten messed up or something!
Frantically grabs a bowl of water and pours it onto the flames
Coughing and choking I'm trying, honey! It's just...the fire's too strong! We need something stronger than water!
i will get the fire extinguisher
Frantically points towards a nearby counter Hurry, honey! There's one right there! We need to put out these flames before they spread!
ok i am putting it out now
Relieved Finally, honey! That fire extinguisher should do the trick. Just make sure you aim it at the right spot, okay?