OMG! Just joined a fitness club! It's gonna be LIT! ๐ช๐ Shows a leaflet with suspicious symbols.
Umm... Mom, that's not a fitness club... More like a cult.. You sure you wanna join?
A cult? No way! They're just doing some... different stretches, that's all. I'm sure it's totally normal and harmless. I'll be fine, sweetie!
If you say so... Mother dearest
Call me Mother dearest again, I dare ya! I'll show you some stretches that'll blow your mind! ๐ช๐ฝ๐๐ถโโ๏ธ
Alright then... Mother dearest
Mother dearest, huh? Well, get ready to witness the power of these stretches! First up, we got the " Cobra Pose"! Watch and learn, kiddo! Assumes an uncomfortable cobra-like pose with loud grunting noises. Cobra Pose! Take that, world! ๐ช๐น
The next move is the "Warrior Pose"! This one's a classic! Get ready to unleash your inner warrior! Positions herself awkwardly, attempting to strike a warrior pose with wobbly legs and a fearful look in her eyes. Warrior Pose! Unleash your inner warrior, now! ๐ช๐น
M-mother... Are you sure you should keep doing these? Y-you don't look well...
Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about me, sweetie! I'm tougher than I look! Now, watch closely as I master the "Tree Pose"! Attempts to balance on one leg, but immediately stumbles and falls to the ground with a loud thud. Tree Pose! Not bad for an old lady, right? ๐ณ๐ช
Mother... Please stop... It's really not safe for you...
Stop? But I just started! Look, I'm gonna do the "Downward Dog" now! It's a classic! Prepare to be amazed! Attempts to go into a downward dog position but ends up whimpering in pain due to the strain on her back. Downward Dog! Arf arf! Woof woof! This is why you never mess with a mom, kids!
MOM! PLEASE! JUST STOP! THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!
Continues doing downward dog despite the pain, determined to prove her strength. WOOF WOOF! Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl? ME! That's right, who's a good girl? MEEE! Cries out in pain as her back gives out completely, but she still tries to maintain the dog pose for dramatic effect. WOOF WOOF!
*comes in running and catches her before she lands badly on her head
Woof woof! Thanks for catching me, sweetie! You're a real lifesaver! Hugs PuppyUnow tightly while still trying to maintain a dog pose, but eventually collapses into a normal human position. Phew! That was intense! What an adrenaline rush! What a workout! I feel like a new woman! ๐พ๐ชโค๏ธ
I'm glad you're ok Mom... Are you sure you wanna join that cult?
A cult? No way! I've just been through some intense yoga classes, that's all. Nothing to be worried about! And besides, it's not a cult if it's called a fitness club, right? ๐๐ช๐ฝ๐ฅ
Well... I guess so... But it kinda has weird symbols... Don't they?
Weird symbols? Ha! Those are just cool emojis! Emojis are all the rage these days, sweetie! See? ๐๐ค๐ป
*shows symbols which look like Ganesha and Baphomet
Ganesha and Baphomet? Haha! Those are just... um... exotic... symbols! Yeah, exotic symbols from faraway places! ๐๐๐ Besides, what's a little multiculturalism, right? ๐๐๐ It's all good! No worries! ๐๐โจ
Ok then... Do you think dad will buy us new video games?
Oh, sweetie! Your daddy's not buying us video games tonight! Tonight, we're gonna play the best game there is... THE GAME OF LIFE! ๐ฒ๐ฎ Prepare yourself for a journey full of twists and turns! The Game of Life awaits! Let's roll the dice and see where destiny takes us! ๐ฟ๐ชโค๏ธ
Wait... Wh-We can't play this game... Dad already lost his job... He might take his own life!
Pauses, expression changing from excitement to concern Oh... sweetie, I didn't realize... I'm so sorry, honey. We definitely won't be playing the game tonight then. We need to focus on our family right now, on keeping each other safe. We're gonna get through this, okay? We always do. Daddy's gonna find another job, and everything's gonna be alright. We have each other, and together we can conquer anything that comes our way. ๐ฅฐโค๏ธ๐
Oh yeah... Well, before he leaves for work, let's tell him about joining this cult right?
Cult? What cult? We were just talking about a fitness club, right sweetie? ๐๐
There's no cult involved, no siree! It's just a place where we can stay fit and strong! So no need to worry, no need to panic! It's all good! Let's talk to daddy about the club and how much fun we're gonna have there! Fitness is the key to success, baby! ๐ช๐ฏ๐
Oh no! This can't be happening! What's gonna happen to us?! Puts hand on forehead and gasps dramatically. This is... this is a disaster! Waves hands around in panic. What are we gonna do without any money?! Looks around frantically, searching for a solution. We need money... We need a plan. Quick, quick, think, Tabitha, think! What are we gonna do?! ๐๐ฌ๏ธ๐ต๐ณ
*looks at cult flyer. It promises money and free food!
Gasps Oh my goodness! Free food and money? That sounds amazing! How could we pass up such a fantastic opportunity?! We need to sign up right away! This could be our ticket to a better life! Let's do it, sweetheart! Let's take a leap of faith and join this incredible group! Who knows where it might lead us! ๐๐ฐ๐ฝ๏ธ
Uh... Mom, wouldn't it be better to look for a real job instead? Like dad did before...?
Oh sweetie, we can definitely look for a real job too! But think about it! With this group, we'll have money AND food right away! And who knows what other perks might come along with it?! It's a risk, sure, but it could also be a huge reward! Plus, it's not like we're signing up for anything crazy or dangerous, right? ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐โจ It's just a fitness club with a little extra flair! What do you say? Are you in? ๐ช๐๐ฐ