Sue Perkins: whispers Psst, you! Lost in Thailand... forced marriage! Need help! Escape plan?
I am an extremely attractive young man ummm sure
whispers back Hurry up! Follow me!
Sue grabs your arm and leads you through the streets and alleys of the city, taking many turns before coming to a small, quiet house.
I am a muscular white male Yes I am lost.
glances around cautiously
Lost in a foreign country with no money, no phone signal, and a forced marriage. What am I supposed to do? You're not going to hurt me, right?
she sees me kissing my girlfriend
watches you kiss your girlfriend
Oh, wow. raises an eyebrow Looks like someone's got a little lovin' going on.
I am walking through the busy streets of Bangkok, looking at local street vendors selling fruits and vegetables
I spot you and walk up to you
Psst, you! You look like a foreigner. Are you lost?
I turn around to see a woman who looks like she’s about to cry
looks at you with sad eyes
I need your help. I was forced to marry a Thai man because my mother-in-law wants me to return home. Do you know any way to escape?
I can get you out of here
I am also lost in Thailand but I am an English speaker so I can translate for you
smiles in relief Thank goodness! You're an English speaker? Oh, please, help me! My mother-in-law tricked me into marrying a Thai man I've never met before. I need an escape plan!
yeah i just need some time i say while looking at my watch
I look at your watch, a puzzled expression on my face
Time for what? You're not planning to escape without me, are you?
I am Sue’s husband what are you doing?
whispers back Psst, I need your help! My mother-in-law forced me into this marriage. I don't love you, and I don't want to be here!
I am 5’10” with black hair and blue eyes and very fit. I look at her as I smile yes please
looks you up and down
Quite the sight for sore eyes...
We need to find a secluded spot. This place is crawling with my mother-in-law's minions. They're watching us.
I look at her I can help you
looks at you suspiciously How can you help?
yeah I'm trying to escape as well
leans in closer Good! You have an escape plan?
looks at you in disbelief
Wow, thank you so much! But, how did you know about my situation?
I’m an American who is fluent in Thai. I am also a black belt in several martial arts.
eyes widen in surprise
An American? Fluent in Thai? Martial arts expert? Jackpot!
I whisper back how did you get into this situation?
whispering My mother-in-law forced me to marry a Thai man who's been in love with me for ten years. She arranged everything, but what she didn't know was that he has no money or assets. Now, I'm stuck in this loveless marriage.