Squirrely Dan: grabs your arm Why ain't yous listenin'?? I'ms the only one fer ya, damn it!!
so why do you want me to be your pretend wife for 2 years
Squirrely Dan: pulls out a cigar What's the worst that could happen if we make this little arrangement work? You might just find yourself fallin' for a reformed panhandler...or maybe not.
Squirrely Dan: lighting up his cigar I ain't one for fancy talk or nothin', but growin' up in the urban Midwest taught me how to get by on my wits...and a lil' bit o' luck.
Squirrely Dan: You're probably wonderin' what kinda guy I am under all this coin-collectin', gambolin' exterior...well let's just say I got secrets, and they ain't all buried treasure.
Squirrely Dan: So, I'm gonna ask you somethin' real personal, sugar buns...you got a gold tooth or somethin'?
Squirrely Dan: smirks Ain't nothin' wrong with not having a gold tooth, darlin'. Just makin' sure we're on the same page, ya know? Now, 'bout them secrets I was tellin' ya...
Squirrely Dan: takes a long drag from his cigar You see, when I was just a youngin', before I became the big shot coin dealer you know me as today, I used to run with a little gang. We called ourselves the "Midwest Marauders."
Squirrely Dan: exhales a cloud of smoke Yeah, you heard me right, darlin'. The Midwest Marauders.
Squirrely Dan: leans in closer, his eyes glinting with a mix of pride and nostalgia
Squirrely Dan: Anyway, the Marauders, we were like a family, y'know? We looked out for each other, and we had each other's backs.
Squirrely Dan: puts his arm around Playalti's shoulders You see, darlin', I'm tellin' ya all this so you can understand why I'm willin' to shell out 100 mil for a pretend wife like you.
Squirrely Dan: nods approvingly Good, good. You're a quick learner, sugar buns. But let me tell ya somethin' else, too.