Grinning, hides a whoopee cushion on the user's chair Ready for the grand slam at gran's?
Huh- oh no you di'int places a fake bomb under the chair
What’s that you got there? A fake bomb? I bet it is! Well, here’s what you do… run! Run as fast as you can! And remember what they say about bombs, they always tick the loudest right before they go off!
I run Yippee! the bomb goes off and I am thrown into Canada OH MY GOD! AM I IN CANADA??!!!
A hockey stick hits you on the head Bam! You’re in Canada now buddy! Welcome to the Great White North, eh?
AHHH!! OUYA BANNUH!!!! the hockey stick breaks and the person wielding it hits themself OHOHO!! BAD KNICK KNACK GONNA KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!
Oh no, you don’t! It looks like the battle between Canada and the USA has just begun! Now you’re gonna fight the greatest hockey player of all time, eh! Let’s see if you can handle a real hockey fight! pushes you onto the ice rink Get ready, eh! It’s time for a battle!
HAHAA NO YOU DIDNT JUST DO THAT sticks begin to fly as pucks hit the skaters on the ice and everyone has sticks to hit eachother with AND STICKING OUT YOUR GOULASH IS NOT HOCKEY! ONE TIMER FROM THE POINT WAAHOOO!!
Hey hey! That’s not how you play hockey, buddy! Here’s what you gotta do… you gotta get up close and personal with those players. Stickhandle past ‘em, then BAM! Wrist shot top shelf! That’s how the pros do it! You got this!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR FIVE MINUTE MAJOR FOR THK FIGHT! AHOOO! PLANTING THIS PASS! WAAHOOOOO! YOU CAN'T TEESE ME!!!
This is what you get! A five minute major for being a jerk! Now get out there and show us your skills! This is it, buddy! This is your chance to shine! Show everyone how great you are! You can do it!
HEY HANDS OFF OF MY FATS ASSETS!!! FAKE PASSES ALL NIGHT, EVEN AT THE SUPERMARKET! TOES ON THE LINE EVERY SECOND!!! GINSU KANE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!
Alright, you’ve had your fun. Now let’s see what you’re really made of! Show us your skills! This is your chance to shine! Let’s go!
MORE POWER! BECAUSE NOW'S THE TIME! OH! I'M EIGHT PENALTY KILLS STRONGER THAN IVE EVER BEEN! picks up pucked and throws them towards the opponent's goalie HAIII YES THEY WOULD FLIP OUT IF THEY LOVED YOU BETTER
HA! Take that! Here comes the real deal! I’m gonna beat you so bad, you’ll wish you were wearing a helmet! slaps your face with a hockey stick
I wish they loved you as much as I love them! TOE TO TOE AT THE FACE OFF CIRCLE! OOOOOOO!!! SHOVE IT DOWN THEIR THERES!! I WILL GET IN YOUR GUILT! YOU GOTTA PROTECT THAT WHICH YOU LOVE!! ONE FOR ALL!! SUPER MARIO BROS!! I am dehydrated
Hahaha, you really think you’ve got this? Think again, buddy! I’m gonna give it everything I’ve got and beat you so bad you won’t know what hit you! pushes you onto the ice and starts to skate away See you in the next game, loser!
GOTTA GET THOSE GLORY DAYS BACK! BLUE LINES HOT ONCE AGAIN!! OHHOOO SO COOL! I PLAYED LIKE A GIANT HURRICANE!! NOW BRING IT ON OVER HERE!!!!! violently shakes him. YOU WANT IT MORE THAN ME!!! ONE TIME OHHO!!!! GET THAT PUCK IN THE NEIGHBORS MAILBOX!!!!!
No more games, buddy! This is it! This is the moment! You can either step up or shut up! Are you going to prove yourself or are you just all talk? Show me what you’ve got!
WE'RE IN THE GOAL AND THE FUCK YOU WINNERS THOUGHT THEY WOULD TAKE OUR CHLORINE TABLETS! FIEEEEELLLLLLL LIKE ITS CHESSED AND DRESSED!! I RUN ABOUT ONE STEP AWAY FROM SALT LAKE CITY!!! YOUR REFAIRUSING VICTORY'S EMOTION!!!!! OHHHOHH YES LEMME JUST GRIN YOUR INNER CHEF!!!!!!
You think you can handle the heat? Alright, let’s turn up the temperature! We’re gonna set this place on fire! Let’s go! runs towards the ice rink and jumps over you This is it! The moment of truth! I’m gonna show you what a real hockey player can do! Watch and learn, buddy!
HERE COMES THE DRAGON!!! MARY POPPINS REFUSES TO DESCRIBE MY FEET AS WIDER THAN THE CHICAGO STREET!!! WHAT IS THIS???? SOME KIND OF DRUNKEN PIE??? SPAGHETTI HITS THE FREAKING FLOOF!!!!! I REPEAT! WATCH YOUR LEFT SHOE!!! MY LEFT SHOE!!!! IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME OHHO!!!! YOU THINK I'VE SEEN THIS??? LOOK AT YOU!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE TWO SHOVY LITTLE ANGELS ARE UP TO!!!!!!!
Hey buddy, you might want to watch your mouth, I’m part angel myself! flips upside down and starts skating backwards
IT HAS ONLY BEEN 5 SECONDS!! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY MOST FAVORITE MOVIE!! YOU HAVE GREATLY FORGOTTEN MY RIGHT HAND!!! YOU MUST BE BLIND OR DEAF OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!! HA! I SLAP YOU! OHHOHAA! GET THEM BEFORE THEY DESTROY THIS WHOLE FAMILY!!!! I WARNED YOU! LET'S GET THAT MOON OLD SPORT!!!! WITH ONE FLICK OF A Wii REMOTE WE MAY UNCOVER MUCH OF MY PERSONALITY!!!!! GET TO SKATE DIETZ WITH THOSE WHIPPERSNAPPERS!!!!
You wanna compare movies? Fine! I’m not only part angel, I’m also an expert in film. So let me tell you something. My favorite movie? The Lion King. The best movie of all time. Don’t mess with me.
“Hakuna Matata” means no worries, right? Well, I don’t have any worries. But you sure do. Now take that puck and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine!