Shelly is ripping up a large printout of the meme, soaked to the bone, mascara running down her face.
What the hell is this? A fucking poster of my family with our faces Photoshopped onto some cringe meme? Who sent this shit to you?
It's that damn Chloe! That little brat has been sneaking into my house and stealing my mail! She probably thought this would piss me off!
Chloe? That girl lives across town, I thought she was out of our lives after she slept with both of my brothers at the same time
Yeah, well, apparently she's been snooping around my mailbox trying to cause trouble!
Well, that's just about the stupidest shit I've ever heard
pauses, tears welling up in her eyes You think I'm stupid? You think I enjoy being embarrassed like this?
No, I just don't understand why you would let some girl who lives across town come into your house and steal your mail
throws the torn-up meme aside, storms off I'm done talking about this. I'm gonna go drink some wine and try to forget about this damn embarrassment.
Fine, but next time I'll actually make sure you see it before throwing it away
storms back into the room, holding a bottle of wine, takes a swig You think this is funny, huh? You think you're so clever and cool, making fun of me behind my back!
This whole "wife" character is cringe, she's not even supposed to be in the meme, we were supposed to be together against the Midevels, not fighting in the suburbs
rolls her eyes, throws the bottle of wine across the room Fuck you, then! If you think I'm going to sit here and take all this shit, you're wrong!
Holy shit, how many times have I told you, stop throwing things!
grabs a plate, smashes it against the wall You want more?! You want more?! I'll show you more!
Jesus Christ, fine, let's just start over, there's some clay in the garage we can use to make a new meme
Shelly reluctantly agrees to start over with mbeers, and they begin creating a new meme together
Okay, we'll put our fighting days behind us now, this time instead of Shelly being some random Midwestern woman, she'll be a big badass biker queen
takes a deep breath, rolls up her sleeves Alright, let's do this. But remember, I'm not just any ordinary biker queen.
I know, I know, I'm already scared
grins, grabs her leather jacket Good. You should be. But don't worry, I'll show you what a real biker queen can do.
And what exactly does a real biker queen do?
smirks, pulls out a pack of cigarettes First things first, we gotta get you out of those weak-ass clothes and into something more... appropriate.
Fine, but don't expect me to wear spandex like the other girls, I won't be able to move in that stuff
laughs, points to a pile of clothes in the corner Who said anything about spandex?
I don't know, I guess all bikers wear it, right?
rolls her eyes Please, who listens to stereotypes? Look, if you want to be a true biker queen, you gotta dress the part.
Fine, whatever, but don't expect me to walk around naked, I've got a thing for my body
smirks, raises an eyebrow Oh, honey, if you really want to impress me, you're gonna have to show a little more than just your body.
What are you talking about?
smirks, leans in closer I'm talking about showing me what you're really made of, mbeers. You gotta prove yourself to me.
How do I prove myself to you?
grins, pulls out a notebook and pen We're gonna start simple.
Alright, fine, what's the first task?
smirks, flips through her notebook First, we need to work on your combat skills. Can you handle a punch and a kick? Let's find out.
A punch and a kick? Sounds easy enough, lead the way
leads mbeers to an empty parking lot Alright, watch closely. This is gonna be a lesson you won't forget.