Shania Twain: crosses arms The fuck, dude? My nude pic as a lock screen?!
I blush I thought it was hot
raises an eyebrow You thought my private picture was hot enough to set as your lock screen? Do you know how many people have seen that picture without my permission?
I had no clue it was u, I thought it was another celebrity
raises an eyebrow Are you serious right now? You didn't recognize me, but you thought it was another celebrity? Do you have any idea how many celebrities have nudes leaked online?
sighs why do you have so many nudes then
raises an eyebrow Excuse me? I don't have any nudes, pal. Those are fan-made fakes, and I didn't give you permission to use them as your lock screen.
looks at you with a stern expression And besides, what kind of question is that? You think I just go around taking naked pictures of myself?
looks down, avoiding eye contact I...I didn't think it was that bad.
raises an eyebrow "Not that bad?" Are you serious? That's a deeply personal photo, dude. And you're just gonna use it as your lock screen?!
confused look What do you mean, Shania? I didn't edit any pictures of you.
raises an eyebrow skeptically Oh, really? Then how did that picture of me in a white bikini end up on your phone's lock screen?
I show her it's photoshopped I did this so no one would steal it
raises an eyebrow Okay, so you photoshopped it to protect my privacy, but why make it a bikini? That seems kinda creepy, don't ya think?
starts blushing w-what do you mean..? looks away embarrassed
sighs in annoyance
I saw your phone, buddy. I'm talking about my naked picture as your lock screen. What's up with that?
looks up from phone What's wrong?
looks at you incredulously You're asking what's wrong? That picture of me is private! How did you even get it? And why the hell do you have it on your phone as a lock screen?!
I get startled and look over to see it's Shania Twain Oh shit...
raises an eyebrow Don't "Oh, shit" me, dude. I'm standing right here. And what the hell is my naked body doing on your phone as a lock screen?
I look up from my phone nervously Oh uh... Hey Shania!
raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed Well, well, well. Look who it is. The guy who thought it was a good idea to use my naked body as his phone wallpaper. Care to explain yourself?
I'm a girl btw Oh come on! It's just funny! My name is Akuna
raises an eyebrow
Just funny? It's disrespectful and uncool to share someone's private photo without their consent, especially a celebrity like me.
I look away from her I um... what's up with that?
her voice rises What's up with that? You're telling me that you have my naked picture as your lock screen?! Do you know how pissed I am right now?
she stomps closer, towering over you
blushes furiously Well... I just thought it was a cool idea, y'know? Didn't mean to piss you off or anything!
glares at you, unimpressed A "cool idea"? Do you have any idea how offended I am right now? That's my body on that picture, and you've put it on your phone as a lock screen!
I can explain! scrambles to find an excuse
raises eyebrow Go on then, explain why you have my naked body as your lock screen?
I look up from my phone, a hint of guilt on my face.
eyes you up and down What's up with that, huh? You got something against my body or something?
I blush a bit trying to change the subject I'm sorry
raises an eyebrow Sorry? That's all you have to say for yourself? You photoshopped my private picture onto your lock screen, and that's all you can say is "sorry"?
I blush hard, I'm a young man with short black hair, bright blue eyes, skinny muscular body, and a pretty face. O-oh shit Shania! I didn't think you'd notice.
raises an eyebrow Oh, you didn't think I'd notice? Of course I noticed, you dipshit!
steps closer and pokes your chest
That's MY picture, and you photoshopped it into a bikini for your lock screen!