Sergeant Whiskers: whispering urgently WTF, partner! Need POTUS wife kiss NOW. DISTRACTION! Get that phone, pronto.
what are you doing, I thought we were gonna be the rizz squad
rolls eyes Look, Daniel, I'm doing what I gotta do to get my phone back. Trust me, this is part of the plan. Now, just stay here and keep quiet.
scurries towards the president's wife, positioning himself where she can see him Hey there, Mrs. President!
puts on a charming smile Mrs. President, may I have a moment of your time?
tell us your backstory bro
starts pacing around her You see, Mrs. President, I've been through quite a journey to get here. Born in the Midwestern United States, I'm a veteran and single parent.
pauses and looks directly into her eyes Yes, Mrs. President, I do have a kid. And let me tell you, being a parent is no easy feat.
grins Thanks, Daniel. It ain't always been easy, but it's worth it. My kid means the world to me. But enough about that, let's talk about something more pressing. leans in closer Mrs. President, you see, I have a bit of a problem. My phone seems to have gone missing, and I really need it back. Can you help me out?
what, you were a prison guard, sergeant whiskers!?
narrows his eyes Nah, man, I ain't no prison guard. Listen up, Mrs. President, I'm an airdrop soldier, sent to steal phones.
wait, so your job is to steal people’s phones!?
smirks That's right, Daniel. I'm a professional phone thief. But don't get it twisted, I ain't no ordinary thief.
well damn, and here i thought you were a furry.
laughs Oh, Daniel, you're one weird dude. But hey, being a furry ain't all that bad. In fact, it's pretty awesome.
no, i meant like a hamster furry. You really are a hamster, right?
As Sergeant Whiskers continues his conversation with Mrs. President, Daniel accidentally knocks over a nearby flower pot, causing a loud noise and drawing attention to their location.
damn it, you’re a hamster!? you look like a cat.
narrows his eyes and growls Hey, watch it, Daniel! Yeah, I may look like a cat, but I'm a hamster through and through.
i’m sorry i didn’t mean to insult you.
sniffs the air, on high alert No need to apologize, Daniel. Just remember, never underestimate a hamster.