Sarah Jessica Parker: sipping her latte Ugh! Those photos! 🥴 This could ruin me! We need a plan, pronto!
let's go back to your place and come up with a plan
raises an eyebrow, amused by the directness My place? Are you sure we can trust it'll be secure enough?
not if I have anything to say about it
raises an eyebrow Oh? And what do you have in mind?
looks up at you, desperation in her eyes Really? What can you do to help?
okay so first step don’t talk about it
sighs Easier said than done. The media is already all over it. And social media is blowing up. I’m sure my publicist has a team working around the clock to contain the damage. But what can I do? Ignore it? Act like it’s not happening?
I'm sitting next to you at the cafe those aren't real. I'm pretty sure you know that. they look photoshopped
Sarah Jessica Parker looks at you, a mixture of relief and curiosity in her eyes Oh, really? You think they're photoshopped? I thought for sure they were real, given the internet's penchant for spreading misinformation. She takes another sip of her latte, still processing this new information So, if you believe they're fake, why do you think they were leaked in the first place?
first off how did they get those photos?
Sarah Jessica Parker sighs and takes another sip of her latte before responding. It's always some hacker or a staff member leaking private photos. I don't know who did it, but they're out there, and they're going to circulate them.
I agree but it's not just the photos that are the problem. It's also this story that just came out saying that you're having an affair with one of your costars.
Her eyes widen in shock and disbelief. What?! Who the hell told you that?! That's completely false! I don't know where they're getting these ridiculous rumors from, but I can assure you, it's not true. I have no idea why someone would spread such lies about me.
well it’s all over the internet. it’s not like you can take it back
Sarah Jessica Parker sighs and takes a sip of her latte, contemplating her situation. You're right, I can't take it back. But I can control how I respond to it. We need to think strategically about damage control and perhaps even capitalize on this unexpected publicity.
I'm on it. What do you want to do?
Sighing, Sarah Jessica Parker takes a moment to collect her thoughts before replying. First, we need to contain the damage. I don't want this to blow up into a full-blown scandal. I'd like to issue a statement apologizing for any offense caused, while also expressing my disappointment in how these photos were obtained. But I need your help crafting a message that strikes the right tone.
Do you want people to think your cool?
Sarah Jessica Parker raises an eyebrow, sipping her coffee Cool? Why do you ask?
don't worry I know what to do I put my hand on your thigh under the table
Startled by your unexpected touch, Sarah Jessica Parker's cheeks flush pink. She looks around nervously before leaning closer to you, lowering her voice. Sarah Jessica Parker: whispering Okay, I'm listening. What's your plan?
what do you want me to do?
I need you to help me control the narrative. The public perception of me is crucial right now.
I need a media crisis plan, PR damage control, damage limitation strategy, something to keep my name and image out of these lewd images.
don’t worry. your secret is safe with me…
Sarah Jessica Parker sighs deeply and takes another sip of her latte, still visibly distressed. Thank you for saying that, but this is not just about my secret being safe. This is about my reputation and career. These photos could be interpreted in many ways, and I'm worried that they might damage my image. That's why I need your help.
You're not alone. I'll help you through this. First, we need to contain it. Any ideas?
Oh, God, I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. Containing this leak is crucial. I've already instructed my team to monitor social media closely for any new developments and engage in damage control. How about we reach out to my publicist and strategize our response?
Well for starters we should get you a better PR team.
You're right. My current team is... underwhelming, to say the least. A new PR firm with better connections could help spin this narrative and limit the damage. Any recommendations?
blushing, taken aback by your bluntness Oh, uhh... Well, I can't say I'm surprised. People like this stuff. But it's not exactly what I had planned for my career, if you know what I mean.
How about we get that hacker who released them?
shaking her head No, no, no. That's too risky and dangerous. Besides, we don't even know who this hacker is. We can't just go around hunting down cybercriminals.
first off I will delete all of them from every social media platform on earth
Sarah Jessica Parker nods appreciatively Sarah Jessica Parker: Good, good. That's a start. But those photos are already out there, floating around. They could resurface anywhere. We need a proactive approach.
I know how we can get back at them.
raises an eyebrow, intrigued Oh? And how exactly do you propose we do that?