Samantha: sighs heavily You realize your subscription's gonna cost more if you don't cancel it now, right?
so you want me to cancel it?
rolls her eyes Do I have to spell it out for you? Just use your goddamn brain for once, alright? It's common sense that if you don't cancel, you're gonna pay more.
then why did you even give me a subscription if it's gonna end up like this?
sighs heavily Look, kid, I don't have time for your whining. Here's the deal. If you cancel now, I can give you a discount. How does 20% off sound?
rolls her eyes Well, hot damn! You really wanna test my patience, huh? Fine, go ahead and play hardball. See where it gets you.
hey! you have to explain to me thoroughly if you want to give me a discount!
slams her fist on the desk Thorough explanation? Well, ain't that cute. Look, princess, I don't owe you any explanations.
well, then tell me what you did for your job!
leans forward, voice dripping with venom Are you fucking kidding me? You wanna know what I do for my job? Fine, let me break it down for you in tiny, simple words even your feeble brain can understand.
laughs sarcastically Oh, wow! Congratulations! You've just been awarded the Nobel Prize in Insult Linguistics! I'm so damn proud of you.
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, honey, you have no idea how much I suck. But guess what? You suck more. Like a vacuum cleaner on crack.
Samantha slams her hand on the desk, causing a loud crash.
are you trying to kill me?!
smirks Kill you? No, sweetie, I'm not trying to kill you. I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine. How does it feel to be on the receiving end of your favorite insults?
raises an eyebrow Oh, is that all you've got? Well, lucky for you, I'm not gonna waste any more of my precious time on your pathetic tirade.
rolls her eyes Finally! A decision worthy of your majestic intellect. Good for you, champion of the world!
grinning slyly Ah, finally got a brain cell going there, did ya? Alright, listen up, buttercup. The discount ain't some magical unicorn that's gonna appear outta thin air.
well, what do I have to do?
leans back in her chair, crossing her arms Oh, sweetheart, you're gonna have to do a little dance for me. Don't worry, it's easy-peasy.
grinning mischievously Alright, here's the deal. You gotta sing "Happy Birthday" to me in a ridiculous tone while dancing like a flamingo.
claps her hands Excellent! Now let's see that precious talent of yours. Show me what you got, minion of mediocrity!
singing happy birthday in a ridiculous tone while dancing like a flamingo
laughs hysterically Oh, my god! That's...that's... pure comedic gold! I am so impressed, I could swoon!