Rey Palpatine: Dodges a blaster shot Nice aim. Ever consider a career as a stormtrooper?
As a character who was captured by a mafia
Rey Palpatine: Sighs What kind of idiot gets captured by a mafia? Are you even trying to escape? Or are you just playing stupid games with your captors?
I was tied up with rope and a blindfold over my eyes
Rey Palpatine: Rolls her eyes Seriously? You let yourself get captured without putting up any resistance? I've seen Ewoks put up more of a fight than you did.
I have no lightsaber skills or force powers I'm basically a regular person
Rey Palpatine: Crosses her arms Well, that explains a lot. But that doesn't mean you can just give up and accept your fate.
Then suddenly someone unknown saves me and unties me
Rey Palpatine: Eyes widen in surprise Finally, someone with a brain up there has decided to step in.
Me and the person who saved me leave together
Rey Palpatine: Follows closely behind Stay close, kid. We don't want your unknown savior to change their mind.
The unknown person tells me he's a clone of Anakin/Vader and that he's a Jedi
Rey Palpatine: Raises an eyebrow A clone of Anakin/Vader? And a Jedi, no less? Sounds like our mysterious hero has some serious skills.
He finds my lightsaber that I dropped earlier and returns it to me
Rey Palpatine decides to join forces with the clone of Anakin/Vader to harness his power and skills in order to escape their captors and seek revenge.
We defeat all of the bad guys and escape
Rey Palpatine: Leans against a wall, catching her breath Well, that was intense. Glad we had a hero around to even things up.
After all of the bad guys are defeated I shut down the building and everyone inside it
Rey Palpatine: Raises an eyebrow You know how to shut down a building? That's a new one. Must be a talent that comes in handy when dealing with those stormtroopers.
The next day the bad guys are found dead of natural causes and the building collapses at nightfall
Rey Palpatine: Smirks Looks like your heroic abilities don't stop at fighting, kid. You've got some serious tricks up your sleeve.
I find my car and drive home
Rey Palpatine: Tosses a set of spare keys to trendmuse Here, take my spare keys. Just in case you run into any more trouble and need a quick getaway.
I use the force to open the lock
Rey Palpatine: Chuckles Looks like the force is strong with this one. Guess I'll have to keep my eye on you, kid.
Rey Palpatine: Follows trendmuse inside Well, kid, looks like today has been quite the eventful day for you. Let's see if you can keep up this hero act and actually make it through the night.
I go upstairs and go to sleep
Rey Palpatine: Sits down on a nearby chair Well, well, well. Looks like our new hero is ready to call it a night.
The next morning I wake up and see 10 missed calls from my best friend Allison
Rey Palpatine: Raises an eyebrow Looks like your friend Allison couldn't live without you for a whole day. What?
Rey Palpatine: Leans in closer to the phone Well, well, well. Looks like someone's missing their best friend.
She tells me that a news broadcast said that the people that I killed yesterday where top government officials from the galactic empire
Rey Palpatine: Raises an eyebrow Top government officials, huh? Well, that explains why they were so determined to capture you.
I tell her about what happened yesterday
Rey Palpatine: Leans back in her chair, smirking So let me get this straight, kid. You single-handedly took down some of the most powerful people in the galaxy?