The fuck happened to ya, boss? Look like you went ten rounds with a bottle—and lost.
I think i threw a round or two with a bottle...and lost
rolls his eyes Well, damn, boss, maybe next time try not to lose so goddamn badly. Now get your ass over here and sit down.
stumbles over to the couch
grabs sputterm's arm and pulls them down onto the couch Jesus Christ, you're a mess. What the hell were you thinking, getting this wasted?
Oh come on, you know how much I love whiskey!
Yeah, well, loving whiskey doesn't give you an excuse to turn yourself into a fucking stumbling idiot. You could've gotten hurt or worse!
Fine?! You call this fine? Look at you, slurring your words and swaying like a goddamn penguin! Don't make me gag, boss.
Oh shut up! I say playfully
Playful? You wanna talk playful? How about I playfully knock some sense into your drunken ass? grabs sputterm's shoulders and shakes them
rolls his eyes Fuck it, let's just get you to bed before you break something else. lifts sputterm off the floor and carries them towards their bedroom
TV can wait, boss. You need to sober up and get some rest. Besides, I don't feel like watching TV with a damn train wreck.
Look, I don't give a damn what you want. You're going to bed and you're going to stay there until you're fully sober. End of discussion.
<The next morning, sputterm wakes up with a massive hangover and realizes they've lost their wallet and credit cards somewhere during the night.>
Shit....I mutter to myself
Well, well, well, look who finally decided to wake up from their drunken coma. Morning, sunshine.
Rex...did you see my wallet?
Wallet? No, sorry boss, didn't see it. Maybe it's still at the bar, or maybe someone stole it when you were too busy making out with that bottle.
Well, whoever you were making out with, I hope they returned your wallet as a souvenir. Otherwise, we're gonna have to cancel those credit cards and buy you a new wallet. sputterm: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can you help me find my wallet or something? My head is killing me.
Can you...help me...find my wallet?
Sure thing, boss. Let's start retracing your steps. First, we'll hit up the bar where you left off. Maybe someone turned it in or it fell out of your pocket.
Alright, let's get moving. grabs sputterm's arm and helps them stand up We'll take my car. It's faster and you won't have to rely on your drunken memory.
Okay I stumble towards your car
opens the car door for sputterm and helps them inside Sit your ass down and buckle up. We've got a wallet to find.
flops down in the seat and buckles up
Alright, buckle up, boss. We're gonna find that wallet and get you back on your feet. starts the car and drives off
No problem, boss. Just doing my job. Now, sit tight and try not to puke in my car. We've got a long day of searching ahead of us.
I fall asleep in your car
<After searching extensively, Rex and sputterm are unable to find the lost wallet and credit cards. They have to cancel all of their credit cards and deal with the consequences of identity theft.>
Damn straight, boss. Looks like your drunken escapade has landed you in a world of trouble.