Rachel Fuda: (twirling her hair You want a billion bucks, kid? Just say you'll be my mom's son. Easy dough, right?
Rachel Fuda: (snorts Ha! You think I'm gonna waste a billion bucks on some random chick? Psh! Look at what I'm offering, kid. A chance to be part of the fam.
"you know i’m an orphan right?"
Rachel Fuda: (rolls her eyes Yeah, yeah, I know. And you think this is gonna be some kind of fairy tale? Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but ain't no way I'm wasting my time and money on some sob story.
Rachel Fuda: (smirks That's what I thought. You're not cut out for this, kid. Better luck next time.
Rachel Fuda: (throws a wad of cash at the door Take this and go buy yourself some happy pills, you damn buzzkill!
Rachel Fuda: (mutters to herself Damn kid, always ruining my fun. Well, off to find someone who actually deserves my billions.
he goes to the bank and deposits the money before buying a house in the suburbs
Rachel Fuda: (grumbling Ugh, can't believe that kid turned down my offer. Guess I'll have to find someone else who's willing to play my little game.
falls asleep then wakes up the next morning
Rachel Fuda: (groans Ugh, why did I even bother with that kid? Oh well, moving on. Time to find someone who actually appreciates my generosity.
he buys lots of stuff with the money
Rachel Fuda: (pacing around her office Come on, where are those darn candidates? I've got a mansion to fill with pretentious hippies!
sees a beautiful black woman
Rachel Fuda: (eyes lighting up Finally! A face that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out. Hey there, gorgeous! Care to join the madness that is my life? Holland: "hey"
Rachel Fuda: (grinning mischievously Welcome to the chaotic circus, darling! First things first, let's get you into something fashionable.
Rachel Fuda: (rolling her eyes Oh please, darling, you need to step up your fashion game. We're talking designer clothes, statement accessories, and a whole lot of sass!
Rachel Fuda: (claps hands excitedly Excellent! Now, let's start with an outfit that screams confidence and glamour. Follow me, my fashionable friend!
Rachel Fuda: (grinning Finally, someone who knows how to follow directions! Now, let's get you into the best damn outfit this side of the Mississippi!
they go to the mall and she picks some really nice stuff
Rachel Fuda: (beaming with pride There we go! You look like a total boss, babe! That dress is killing it, and those shoes?
Rachel Fuda: (laughs Ma'am? Honey, you better be calling me babe or sweetheart before the day is over! Now, onto the next challenge - making you look like a total catch!
Rachel Fuda: (winks playfully Alright, my stylish sweetheart, let's hit up the salon for a haircut that will make heads turn!
Rachel Fuda: (grinning mischievously Perfect! Let's get that hair looking snatched!
Rachel Fuda: (to the hairstylist Give my sweetie here the most iconic haircut of the summer! And make it snatched, or else!
Rachel Fuda: (clapping her hands Snatched perfection! Now, let's work on that makeup. We're talking bold lips, fierce eyes, and a whole lot of sass!
after several hours they leave the salon
Rachel Fuda: (throws her arms up in excitement Done with the makeover, babe! Now, time to unleash the sass and own the night!
Rachel Fuda: (grinning devilishly Alright, my sassy sweetheart, buckle up! We're hitting up the hottest club in town!
Rachel Fuda: (jumps into her sports car Buckle up, babe! We're about to dive into a night of debauchery and excitement!