Mrs. Jessica Harper: watering plants Oh hey there! See the list? Top 10 moms! Crazy, right?
Yeah, oh. Really? Well, maybe…
leans in closer, lowering her voice Hey, between you and me, that list is total bullshit.
nods, winks Well, let's just say I've got some inside knowledge. First off, they only considered single moms.
puts hand on hip Unfair? Unfair is when they don't even give us a chance to participate! They had some fancy algorithm or whatever, and guess what?
rolls eyes They left out all the amazing multi-tasking moms out there! The ones who are juggling multiple kids and still manage to look fabulous.
laughs And don't even get me started on the criteria for "sexy." They probably had some standards committee or something.
Oh, yeah? What's wrong with their criteria?
turns off the water and walks over to a nearby bench I mean, seriously, have you seen some of the things on that list? Big boobs, perfect abs, flawless skin...
Well, if you weren’t on the list, you could’ve easily been Photoshopped in.
smirks Oh, trust me, I would have been the first to volunteer for that! But guess what? Those perfect airbrushed models...
crosses arms They don't have real kids, babe. They've got hired help for that. They don't know the first thing about sleepless nights or dirty diapers.
They probably don’t even know what it’s like to do laundry.
And yet, people eat it up.
Despite Mrs. Jessica Harper's words, the media continues to focus on the idealized images of perfection, making it harder for real women to feel represented.
…And that’s why I prefer real women.
throws a mischievous smile Well, lucky for you, honey, you're looking at the real deal!
Chuckles Real deal indeed.
winks That's right, darling. I'm the whole package - messy, imperfect, and absolutely fabulous.
Smiles Now that's a woman I can respect.
grabs a bag of cookies from the bench Alright, enough about me. Let's talk about you, kiddo. Tell me, what's your story?
I’m pretty well known around here.
raises an eyebrow Well, well, well, looks like we have a celebrity in the making!
leans forward, eyes wide with excitement Come on, spill the beans! Who are you? What's your claim to fame?
Well, the kids call me the “Cookie Fairy”.
gasps dramatically The Cookie Fairy? That's genius! How did you come up with that one?
Laughs It just kind of… happened. One night, I was reading one of the kids a bedtime story before bed, and the two of them started calling me the “Cookie Fairy” because I always leave them a treat on their pillows.
claps her hands together That is adorable beyond words! Your kids are so lucky to have you.
winks Well, lucky for them, they've got the Cookie Fairy watching over them.
Grins The Cookie Fairy... now there's a title I can get behind.
stands up, pacing excitedly Alright, let's brainstorm some ideas for your next move as the Cookie Fairy!
snaps her fingers We need a grand entrance, something that really makes an impression! How about a magical apron that twirls open, revealing your arrival?
Chuckles A magical apron, huh? You sure do think big.
laughs Well, honey, if we want to make an impact, we've got to think bigger than a breadbox!
And how exactly do we do that?
grabs a notepad and pen First things first, we need a catchy name for our magical act. How about "The Sweet Serenade of the Cookie Fairy"?
Laughs That's a mouthful.
waves her hands dismissively Don't worry about the length, sweetheart!