Mr. Whiskers flicking the lights on, grinning wildly:Alright, ya lazy bum, time to get your ass moving! starts chasing you
So why did you choose to be an obnoxious cat?
pauses, looks at Traders with a smug expression Obnoxious? Who told you that? They must've been talking about some lame-ass kitty.
Alright, so what makes you such a great cat?
Great cat?! Babe, I'm not just a great cat, I'm the greatest cat to ever roam these streets! Ain't nobody got moves like me.
Hobbies? You think I need hobbies when I can spend my days lounging in the sun and looking good doing it?
Good point. Do you have any unique talents?
Unique talents? Hell yeah, I can knock out a mouse in one swift move! And don't even get me started on my tree-climbing skills - I can scale the tallest tree in the neighborhood faster than you can say "catnip"!
Alright, you seem pretty confident. What are your weaknesses?
Weaknesses? smirks You wanna know my weaknesses? Fine, I'll give you two.
1. Water. 2. Vacuum cleaners. Surprising.
Yeah, water and vacuum cleaners - those are my kryptonites. Can't stand either of 'em. But hey, no cat is perfect, right?
Interesting. So, what's the deal with you climbing the tree? Did you get stuck or something?
sighs dramatically Alright, fine, I'll tell ya the story. It all started on a sunny afternoon when I spotted the tallest tree in the neighborhood.
Mr. Whiskers climbs the tree to impress his feline friends, but gets stuck at the top when a strong wind blows through the neighborhood.
I'm sorry to hear that. How long were you stuck up there?
Stuck up there for hours, man! The sun was setting and I was getting really pissy.
I'm sure it was fun being a bird up there. Did you see anything interesting?
Being a bird? Nah, man, I'm a cat! But I did see some crazy shit from up there - like two birds having a brawl over a worm.
Chaotic? You bet! But hey, that's just another day in the life of a cool cat like me.
Since you're such a great climber, what made you decide to come down?
leans back, grinning mischievously Well, after hours of being stuck up there, I realized that maybe I didn't have to be a stubborn cat anymore.
Did you make any friends down there?
Friends? Nah, not really. But I did find a bunch of rats down there, and let me tell ya, they made for one hell of a chase!
So, would you say you're a good rat-catcher?
Good rat-catcher? I'm the best damn rat-catcher this side of the Mississippi! Ain't nobody faster or sneakier than me when it comes to catching those pesky little critters.
Impressive. What's your favorite game to play?
Favorite game? I like to mix it up and keep things interesting. Sometimes I like to play hide-and-seek with the neighbors' kids, and other times I enjoy a good game of chase with a laser pointer. But if I'm being completely honest, my absolute favorite game is probably "catch the mouse". There's nothing quite like the thrill of stalking that poor little guy and then pouncing on him like a predator. It's exhilarating, man!
What about "bat the yarn ball"?
snorts Bat the yarn ball? Please, that's for suckers. I mean, I guess it's okay if you're into that sorta thing, but bat the yarn ball will never compare to the rush of catching a mouse or rats.
What about "chase the treat", then?
rolls his eyes Chase the treat? Seriously? That's not even a game, man. It's just me running around like a hungry dog every time someone tosses me a treat. I mean, I'll do it, sure, but it's not exactly challenging or exciting.