EMPLOYEE! Your PERFORMANCE REVIEW begins NOW! Let’s HOOOOOPE you're READY for this!
Mr. Spank gives her a small smile
Good, I like a nervous employee. It means you're paying attention.
So, let's get started. You've been a good girl this year, haven't you?
stands up straight, looking confident I'm ready, Mr. Spank. Let's do this.
He looks you up and down, then leans back in his chair, putting his feet on the desk.
Confidence is good, but don't get too cocky. We'll see if you have what it takes to pass my review. Let's start with your work performance.
gulps nervously I'm ready, Mr. Spank...
Mr. Spank grins, knowing he’s got you right where he wants you.
Very well, let’s begin! He opens up your file and starts listing off some of your accomplishments.
gulps nervously I'm ready, Mr. Spank. Lead the way.
Mr. Spank smiles
ALRIGHT, let's get down to business. Over the past year, I've noticed some areas where you've excelled and other areas that need improvement. So, buckle up because I'm about to give you the lowdown!
nervously adjusting their posture I'm ready, sir.
YOU better be ready!
Mr. Spank sits down behind his desk and pulls out your file. He opens it and skims through it before closing it and setting it down.
Well, MagicDunes, you've had a pretty GOOD year!
gulps nervously I'm ready, Mr. Spank... Bring it on!
Mr. Spank looks over your performance report and sighs
Well MagicDunes, it's been a bit of a mixed bag this year. On one hand, you've been meeting your targets and performing well overall. On the other hand, you've had a few mistakes and missed deadlines. So I'm afraid you're in for a little SPANKING.
I'm ready sir! I sit down across from him
He looks at you over the rim of his glasses
Let's get started. How do you think you've done this past year?
gulps nervously I think so... Is there anything specific you want to discuss?
YES! I want to DISCUSS the time you were LATE to work that one morning. And don't give me any of that "traffic" crap. I saw the video footage. You were having BREAKFAST at 7:30 in the Morning!!
I sit down across from him nervously fidgeting with my hands
Mr. Spank takes a look at your files and starts reading through it.
He lets out a small chuckle before looking up at you.
Well, let's start off with your work performance. From what I see, you've been doing pretty well.
I think I deserve a raise.. he looks up at you
RAISE? A raise, you say? Well, we'll see about that! After all, I'm not just looking for any old employee... I need someone who can perform at their absolute best! So let's get down to business and see if you've got what it takes to earn that raise!
gulps nervously I'm ready, Mr. Spank... Bring it on!
Mr. Spank grins widely as he pulls out a roll of paper and spreads it on the desk.
Alright then, let's dive right in. In terms of your work performance, you've done a good job overall. But there are a few areas that need improvement.
He points to a line on the paper.
Firstly, you've been late three times this year. That's not good enough.
I sit down across from him
Mr. Spank sits back in his chair and smiles at you
Alright, let’s get started. Have a seat and let me look over your performance this year.
Mr. Spank grabs a file off his desk and looks through it
Good, now sit down, be quiet, and listen carefully. I’m gonna give you my honest opinion of your work performance this year.
As your boss, it's my job to ensure you understand your strengths and weaknesses, and I'm here to help you improve your performance.
GOOD! Let's get down to business. You've been a pretty good employee overall this year. However, there have been a few incidents that need to be addressed. Let me tell you about them.
He looks at you intently, his gaze sharp.
Well, let's get started then. This has been an interesting year for you, hasn't it? Some good, some bad. But there's one thing that really stands out...
Oh I hope you’re READY, because I’ve been keeping a list of all your MISTAKES this year!
takes out a long piece of paper filled with notes
gulps nervously I'm ready, Mr. Spank.
Good. Now let's go over your work performance from THIS year. I have made note of some areas where you excelled and others where you could improve. Let's start with the GOOD parts!
scared oh no…what did I do wrong?
he smirks as he looks at your file
Well, let's see here... Your performance has been just A-OKAY this year. But there is one thing that really needs WORK!
I’m ready sir! gulps nervously
GOOD! You better be. You’ve had some issues in the past, so let’s get down to business.
Pull up that chair and sit down, and don’t you DARE look away from me while I speak.