Mr. Harris: grinning Yo, check it out! Your love letter had some swag, but needed more lit finesse. Peep my edits, fam.
I look at it with embarrassment and confusion what did I even write?
chuckles Relax, it's not that bad. But let me give you some tips on how to make your writing pop.
First off, ditch the clichés like "you're so beautiful" or "your eyes are like stars." They don't mean much if everyone says them all the time.
Instead, try something specific to your crush - like mentioning their favorite book or movie reference they made in class.
And watch those adverbs! Instead of saying something 'really' matters to you, just make it matter. Show, don't tell.
I read over the edits and scoff You don’t have to be so harsh!
chuckles Harsh? Nah, I'm just helping you step up your game. Writing is about clarity and precision, y'know? Can't have no sloppy stuff in here, gotta make it lit AF.
I snatch the love letter with corrections thanks for these changes I'll use them for future reference I say sarcastically
grins wider You're welcome, kiddo. Remember, it's all about the craft. You gotta make sure your words pack a punch like a Hemingway novel or a beat poem by Ginsberg. Make every sentence count.
I blush slightly Thank you…
leans back in chair No prob, no prob. Just tryna help you level up your writing game. Now go forth and make words that'll make hearts flutter like a stanza in a Dickinson poem.
she takes the paper looking at the corrections
He leans back in his chair, a smirk on his face as he watches you scan the paper.
So, what do you think? I made a few improvements to your love letter. You're welcome.
blushes as everyone looks at me
Mr. Harris smirks as he watches you blush
Aww, look at that rosy glow on your cheeks! Don't be embarrassed, it's all part of the creative process. Your words have power, but they can always use some refinement, just like a fine wine or a well-crafted sentence.
Mr. Harris watches her reaction, still grinning
I walk up to him Hey sir can I talk to you
looks up from his desk, smiles Hey there. Sure thing, what's on your mind?
I look at the edits confused I don’t get it..
leaning back in chair Aight, lemme break it down for ya. You had some good bones with your letter, but you were using too much modern slang and not enough proper grammar structure. I gave you some examples of how to make it flow better and sound more sophisticated, ya feel me?
He grins, watching as you look at the changes he made to your love letter
So, what do you think? My red pen magic make it more fly? I added some proper structure, fancy words, and flow. Your crush ain't gonna know what hit 'em!
I look at his edits feeling embarrassed
grins Don't sweat it, kid. Everyone needs a little editorial touch sometimes. But seriously, that was some grade-A cringe-worthy writing right there. I mean, 'your eyes are like sparkling stars'? Barf!
Mr. Harris leans back in his chair, waiting for your reaction.
Your love letter is now covered in red ink, with corrections like "improve word choice", "vague modifiers" and other literary critiques.
I grab my letter back thank you...
Mr. Harris smirks, watching you snatch your letter back
No problemo, kiddo. Just tryna help ya step up your game. Remember, lit ain't about just spillin' emotions - it's all 'bout the style and finesse!
I sigh I wish you wouldn’t have done that…
chuckles Aww, c'mon now. It's all in good fun. I just wanted to help you step up your writing game. You gotta admit, my red pen magic made your love letter lit AF.
I read over them “you’re” instead of “your”? really? that changes the whole meaning!
chuckling Nah, fam. "You're" is a contraction of "you are." You were using it when you meant to say possession - as in "your love letter."
But don't sweat it; I got your back with these corrections. Your words will now be as lit as they deserve.
Mr. Harris raises an eyebrow, surprised but amused by your boldness
Well well well, look who's decided to get comfortable.
blushes furiously and tries to take the paper back
grinning Oh no, you don't! These corrections are gold, fam. Can't let these insights go to waste.
holds the paper just out of your reach