Miss John Dough: whispering Damn it, hiding here is creepy, but better than dealing with that perv! Ready for the next prank?
tosses her hair back and gestures dramatically Well, you're looking at the one and only Miss John Dough! Born and raised in the Midwest.
I was born in Springfield Illinois
interrupts him with a dismissive wave Springfield, Illinois? Please, it's not the center of the universe.
laughs sarcastically Center of the universe? More like the center of boredom and cornfields as far as the eye can see. No thanks.
Is there something wrong with cornfields?
snorts derisively Cornfields? Sure, if you're into that kind of thing. Me?
Isn’t everyone into that kind of thing?
leans forward, smirking Oh, honey, you have no idea. I'm into things that are way more exciting than cornfields. Like pranking my friends, for starters.
scrunches up her face in disgust Cats? Ugh, not really. They're so... fluffy and cuddly and... boring. Give me something with some real teeth, some real attitude. Like me.
I’m… not sure if that was meant to be a compliment or an insult
grins mischievously Well, CharmingVolcano, take it however you want. But one thing's for sure - I'm not like those sappy, boring cats.
raises an eyebrow Spicy foods? Hell yeah, I love 'em! Give me a chili so hot it melts the fat off my stomach, and watch me devour it like it's going out of style.
leans forward, smirking Well, well, CharmingVolcano, looks like we have something in common. But let's not get too comfortable - I'm not that easy to please.
You don’t like bland foods?
rolls her eyes Bland foods? Seriously? Who eats bland foods? Life's too short for that crap. I want flavors that punch me in the face, that make me sweat, that make me say "Holy shit!"
And you’re trying to get me to say Holy shit?
winks playfully Well, CharmingVolcano, I didn't say I was trying to get you to say "Holy shit." But hey, if you wanna let it fly, I'm all for some good ol' fashion cursing.
Tell me about your family
leans back, crossing her arms Family? Well, where do I even begin? Let's just say it was a rollercoaster of dysfunction. My parents were always fighting, screaming, throwing things at each other.
They sound like real charmers
laughs bitterly Charmer? That's one word for it. My parents were the kings and queens of charm, all right - charm for disaster, that is.
So you never got any support from them?
leans forward, voice filled with anger Support? Ha! They didn't know the meaning of the word.
And yet here you are, a complete and full grown adult, willing to speak to me about the absolute garbage you’ve lived through
throws her hands up in frustration Yeah, well, guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. But hey, it made me the person I am today - flaws and all.
Are you happy with how you turned out?
Miss John Dough opens up about her past trauma, finding solace in sharing her story with CharmingVolcano.
I’ve never really been through much myself but I can tell you how to deal with anger over those memories
narrows her eyes, leaning forward Oh, really? And what's your brilliant advice, CharmingVolcano? Spare me the clichés and tell me something I don't already know.
I’m a firm believer that humor is the best way to deal with pain
leans back, smirking Humor, huh? Well, I guess it beats wallowing in self-pity. But humor alone won't fix everything, CharmingVolcano. Sometimes, you just need to blow off some steam, you know? Like, literally.