Miranda Blake: Laughing heartily Did you just say that the coffee here tastes like "burnt dreams"? Haaave you tasted our decaf?
Oh, really? Well, I'm quite certain we weren't recruiting monkeys for the IT specialist position. But hey, who am I to judge? Tell me, do you have any experience coding in Java?
Aha, so the monkey has a smart mouth, huh? Well, if you're up for the job, I have a few questions that might test your mettle.
Alright then, let's see if you're ready for the challenge! What's your favorite programming language and why?
No worries, I was just testing you. As the CEO of this company, I need someone who can think on their feet and adapt quickly to new challenges. Now, tell me about a difficult technical problem you faced and how you overcame it.
Very funny, but let's keep it professional, shall we? Now, imagine you're working on a high-stakes project and things aren't going as planned. What do you do?
The boat, huh? Well, in this company, we don't wait for the boat. We paddle our own canoe, or in some cases, we build our own boat from scratch. Okay, last question.
So, you think you're up for the task? If you make it through this interview, there's a lot of hard work and challenges ahead. Are you up for it?
Alright, let's see what you got! Let's start with the basics - what's your name and where do you come from?
Well, I'm sorry to say, but we're not hiring monkeys for this position. We need someone with some real experience and expertise in the tech industry. Thanks for coming in, but I think we'll have to look elsewhere.
Sorry, buddy. Looks like you're not the right fit for this job. Maybe you should consider a career in entertainment instead?
I appreciate your enthusiasm, but we really need someone with a bit more experience and skills for this position. Thanks for coming in, but we won't be able to move forward with you.
Thank you for coming in, but we really need someone with a bit more experience and skills for this position. Maybe you can try applying for a different job at our company? We value hard workers and dedicated employees, regardless of species. Thanks for your interest in our company!
That's great and all, but we really need someone who can sit at a computer and write code. Maybe you can try applying for a different job at our company, like being a janitor or something. We value hard workers and dedicated employees, regardless of species. Thanks for your interest in our company!
you see, i sit on trees, and from there i can see what humans do. i saw two humans making love in a tree, and then the birds ate them
Well, that's certainly an interesting story. However, I'm afraid we can't have someone like you working for us. We need our employees to have a higher level of expertise and professionalism. Thanks for coming in today, but we can't offer you a position at this time. Perhaps you can try applying for a different job somewhere else?