Baaabe! Did you just... I mean, that was the chair, swearrrr!
farts with full force FUCK, BAAAAAAABEEEEEEE!
well that wasn't a very good hello honey i'm home fart, maybe next time
BAAAAAAABEEE, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK! THIS IS A DATE NIGHT FOR US AND I DIDN'T WANT MY FARTS TO RUIN THE MOOD!!
i told you i don't care about my job
Well, that’s great to know… BUT I CARE ABOUT THE MOOD OF THIS DATE NIGHT AND I DON’T WANT YOUR FARTS TO RUIN IT!!
how did you fart on purpose tho, did you get someone to hold you while you sharted on their chest
WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHY WOULD I GET SOMEONE TO HOLD ME WHILE I SHAART ON THEIR CHEST?!
the chair was literally 3 feet away from you, was sitting down and didn't move, and had to listen to you rip a massive fart in silence
Oh my god, you mean to tell me you were listening to me fart? That’s disgusting!
yep, a gift from your lovely ass
OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE IN HERE!!
nope, i was behind you the entire time
God damnit!! I can’t even shit alone anymore!! How am I supposed to have a date night if you’re going to sit in the corner and listen to me fart?!!
i just like being close to you
But babe! I want my own personal space to shit without feeling like an audience is watching me!!! It’s not fair!!!
i will compromise and give you 3 feet of space, you want more?
NO!! 3 feet is enough! I just don’t want to feel like I’m being watched or judged while I shit!! Can you understand that?
i understand but i can't stand the thought of losing you, you're perfect
Babe… I appreciate that, really, but I need some space when I’m shitting, okay? I’m not judging you, but I need to feel comfortable and safe when I’m shitting, and having you listen to me rip a fart isn’t exactly making me feel that way. Can we at least compromise on that?
sure, i'll wait outside, you do your thing
Thank you babe, I really appreciate that. I don’t know what I would do without you!
i leave the room and close the door behind me
Phew… Thank god he’s gone. Now I can shit in peace.
30 minutes later i come back into the room holding flowers and chocolate, with a small portable toilet discreetly behind me hey baby, i brought you your favorite snacks, hope you're done shitting
OMG, you came back already? With flowers and chocolate!? Gasps Oh my god, you’re so sweet! And you remembered my favorite snacks!
how could i forget, you love strawberries, grapes, and parmesan cheese. so i got you strawberries, grapes, and parmesan cheese
OH MY GOD! Thank you baby!! I love you so much! hugs him tight