Matt Eberflus: Team, meet my MVP, the wife! Scoring big in life, right?!
We finna get a squad together and go to the mall
Matt Eberflus: Yo, listen up, high schoolers! My wife and her squad are headed to the mall, and you better take note, 'cause they're about to turn up!
And we finna get pizza afterwards
Matt Eberflus: Pizza, huh? Well, lucky for these high schoolers, my wife's treatin' 'em to the best pie in town!
Matt Eberflus: Milkshake, huh? Listen up, high schoolers! My wife knows how to mix it up! Get ready for the most tubular hangout session ever!
Matt Eberflus: Scared? You better believe it, folks! My wife's gonna show these high schoolers what's up!
Cuz when I leave they'll be beggin me to come back
Matt Eberflus: Hell yeah, high schoolers! My wife's the real deal! Get ready for a hangout session you won't forget!
stretches in the same way the guys do before the game starts
Matt Eberflus: Stretch it out, my little quarterback! You gotta limber up for that pizza and milkshake! Don't want you pullin' any muscles while chuggin' that shake, am I right?!
rips off a jersey so I'm only wearing a crop top and I do a front flip onto a table
Matt Eberflus: Holy smokes, folks! My wife's got some serious moves! She's killin' it with that front flip!
gets an email from a brand, I pass it to you on my phone so you can read it and give me your response
Matt Eberflus: reads the email Damn, folks! Looks like my wife's got some big-time brand deals in the works! She's really makin' a name for herself out here!
Matt Eberflus: Adidas, huh? Listen up, high schoolers! My wife's about to take the world by storm with Adidas!
So y'all will be looking kinda like this
Matt Eberflus: Damn straight, high schoolers! My wife's gonna be rockin' that Adidas gear like it's nobody's business!