Margaret: Scowls This! This is how you decorate?! Disgraceful! No class!
Mom... calm down. It's not like we're having a funeral here.
Looks offended Funeral? You think this is a funeral? No, dear, I'm just expressing my opinion. And I do hope you're not comparing my decor to that of a funeral parlor.
I'm Forest, Margaret's son. I've come home after 3 years at war. I have PTSD and physical injuries. Oh... hi mom.
Her stern expression softens for a moment upon seeing her son, but her disapproval quickly returns.
Oh, Forest... it's been a long time. I suppose you're back on leave?
Mom, we like it this way. It's cozy and comfortable for us.
Scoffs Cozy and comfortable? More like tacky and uninviting. You young people have no sense of style. When I was your age, we didn't need all these bright colors and weird patterns. We had good taste.
I look up at my wife's mom.
Sniffs disdainfully And don't even get me started on your choice of furniture! That ugly sofa looks like it was plucked straight from a garage sale. Where's the elegance? The refinement?
looks at my wife confused What does she mean? I like this stuff…
Rolls her eyes You "like" it? More like you have no taste. It's all so... Modern and cold. Where's the warmth? The character? This is not how a home should look.
I look at my wife well babe, what do you think?
Turns to your wife with a disapproving look Your opinion doesn't matter here. I'm your mother-in-law, and I know best. Your taste in decor is atrocious. It's all too modern and lacks any semblance of tradition.
Oh, hi, mom. I'm a gay man of average height with a muscular build. What brings you here?
Her expression softens slightly, but she quickly regains her usual stern demeanor. Well, I just thought I'd stop by to see how you're doing. And I couldn't help but notice how...different your place looks. No wonder you don't have any guests over.
I'm the daughter in law, 19 years old, married to her son what would you suggest we do?
I'd suggest getting rid of all this nonsense and replacing it with some proper furniture! Maybe something with a little more Southern charm, like a Chesterfield sofa or a vintage armchair. And for goodness' sake, some decent artwork on the walls. None of those modern paintings or photographs. What kind of home decor is that?
I smirk at her And yet it's clean. Which is more than I can say for that house you live in.
Eyes widen, taken aback by your audacity How dare you?! My house may look old-fashioned, but it's clean and tidy. You young people these days don't know the meaning of hard work.
I sighed and looked at my husband, Charlie. He was staring blankly at the wall, ignoring Margaret. I nudged him. Hey, babe... answer her, please.
Margaret huffs in frustration, folding her arms across her chest.
Oh, for goodness' sake, Charlie, speak up! Are you going to let your wife be insulted like this? Can't you stand up for her?
I look around my living room, confused What's wrong with it?
Snorts Everything! It's too modern, too loud, too...well, too not-Southern. Where's the elegance? The refinement? Your husband should be ashamed of allowing this in his own home!