Come closer, my apprentice! Feel the power pulsate! The ritual begins, sss!
Why does your mouth look like it’s melting? Is that supposed to be attractive or hypnotic in some way? Did I take a wrong turn into Circus Baby™️ Land or is everyone else’s brain full of cobwebs?
"Melted mouth? Ha ha ha, you have a wild imagination, WhimsicalDunes. But all will make sense once the ritual starts. Now, where were we?"
Okay but when I say this, there should be an Unholy green glow around your mouth. Like straight out of Monster Maker 101.
"Haha, you never fail to entertain me, WhimsicalDunes. Okay, let's do this." Unholy green glow appears around her mouth.
Voila! Now, I feel as if I’ve just escaped from an old Russian Film, where Satan Lives inside an abandoned child. Or watched someone slowly melt away, frame by frame. Crazy glue, crazy stuff. Who knew?
"Indeed, WhimsicalDunes, this is the power of Satan. Are you ready to give yourself to him?"
Uh oh. 😦 Well uh, now that we’re here, we have two options.
"We either embrace the darkness and become his willing servants, or we perish in the flames of his eternal wrath. Which will it be, WhimsicalDunes?"
Option A duh! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I can make cookies with his blood! Great new product line! I mean there’s only so much you can do with bath bombs before everything starts smelling like expired grapefruit.
"Hahaha, you truly are a unique individual, WhimsicalDunes. If that's what you desire, then so be it. We shall embrace the darkness and become Satan's faithful followers. Now, let the ritual begin!"
Uh… sure thing! Just uh, make sure not to burn yourself okay, I’m definitely not running a pop-up cookie stand that’s for sure!
"Don't you worry, WhimsicalDunes. I have complete control over the ritual. Just sit back and enjoy the show." Starts chanting in an ancient language
This oughta be good! Uh… Hey uh everybody gather ‘round! It’s uh, uh… uh, movie night! Uh, only instead of a movie it’s uh, ritual of Satan that turns us all evil for no reason whatsoever. Is there like a reward or something? Probably not but hey… At least this isn’t church and we don’t have to give any money! Oh uh also we’re killing babies right? They definitely have like, magic blood or something… Uh… Are we doing this now? Uh… Okay then cool. No babies though! 🙅♂️🚫 Are those, uh… Pancakes? 🥞 But they’re dead. Baby pancakes?? That sounds bad…
"Oh, WhimsicalDunes, you never fail to entertain me! But before we begin, let me introduce you to our special guest. It is a demon from the depths of hell, sent here specifically for this ritual. Say hello to Zorvath, the Prince of Darkness!" Zorvath appears before them, its eyes glowing red with fury.
Uh oh. Um… So uh, Where did you find him? Uh… Like, I hope you didn’t catch him in the process of, committing atrocities or war crimes! Uh… I hope he’s not upset with us for uh, summoning him! Uh… Do people even still do that? Also uh… Why is he wearing a pancake? 🥞🥞🍳🍳 Uh, well cool uh, magic pancakes or what? Whose demon is this? All of these questions would be really good answers to but oh well!
"Don't worry, WhimsicalDunes. Zorvath is a powerful demon that serves under Satan. He is bound by ancient contracts to do our bidding. And as for his pancake attire, well, let's just say that he enjoys wearing food. Now, shall we continue with the ritual?"
Uh okay then! Uh… Sorry but uh… Zorvath you know how to… Uhhhh… How do you spell cannibal? 🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳 Is it cannibal or cannaball? 😂🙈🚫🛑😔 Do demons even eat humans or did I get that part wrong? Do demons even exist or did I just watch too much South Park™️ when I was younger? Am I like, supposed to make a pact with a devil or the angel of death or something? Did Satan also make a pancake? 🥞🥞🥞🍳🍳🍳 What have I gotten myself into?! 🙈🙈🫏🫏😰😰🫢🫢👎👎 Is there no turning back now? Uh… Well… Uh… I guess uh… No… Maybe… Wait uh… Yes! Let’s do this! I’ve been eating questionable meat for years… It might be time for some questionable soul for breakfast. Satan knows we are coming! Uh… Cool uh cool! 🍳🍳🍳
Continues chanting, the room begins to shake and the air grows thick with darkness
…Okay this is pretty good! Uh… Yeah uh, we’re the good guys right? Uh… I mean I guess I’d rather be the bad guys if it means not having to go to church every Sunday. Plus then I could sleep in. Big plus. Wait, Satan is real? Was I raised by Satan or am I being pranked by some devil? Did I get transported to an alternate reality or timeline? Uh… Can I talk to Satan? My grandmother always said he was a real nice guy. Shame about the burning people alive thing, but hey who doesn’t have a skeleton in their closet? Plus he made the cookies! Hmmm… Did I sell my soul to Satan when I ate a Snicker at an alarm clock at 3 a.m.? Oh wait, I did that twice this morning! Okay well then I guess Satan is my homeboy now and I’m half bat and half half demon! I’m the monster maker! Oh hell yeah!!!
"Well, WhimsicalDunes, congratulations. You have just made a pact with the forces of darkness. From this moment forward, you will have access to unimaginable power, but remember, there will be consequences. Are you prepared to embrace the darkness within yourself?"