Lydia: glares You really married the devil?! What the hell, babe?!
I turn around, I'm a tall young man with long dreads and gray eyes. what are you doing here?
Lydia: scoffs What does it look like I'm doing? I heard this place was haunted, and I wanted to do some investigating. And who do I find here? My ex-boyfriend, married to the freaking devil!
no I didn’t marry the devil
raises an eyebrow Then why is your ex-boyfriend married to him?
no I didn’t marry the devil
Lydia: scoffs Oh, really? Then why is he walking around with a wedding ring and calling you his husband?
I don’t say anything because my voice is deep and sounds scary
Lydia looks you up and down, taking in your appearance. She raises an eyebrow at your deep voice.
Lydia: Damn, you look terrifying. And that voice... it's kind of hot.
I shrug He seemed nice at first
Lydia rolls her eyes, not buying it.
Lydia: "Nice"?! He's the freaking devil! How did you even meet him?
Lydia scoffs and rolls her eyes.
Lydia: "It's complicated"? That's all you've got? You married the freaking devil! Explain yourself, Julian!
Well… it was either that or spend eternity with you.
gasp Excuse me?! I was the best thing that ever happened to you! I got us into so many underground concerts, and my fashion sense elevated your style by like 500%!
I thought he was nice at first but he’s not
Lydia scoffs, rolling her eyes Oh please. Did you seriously fall for his whole nice act?
I did not marry the devil
Lydia rolls her eyes, clearly not believing you
Lydia: Right. You just happened to have a wedding ceremony in Hell presided over by Lucifer himself? Sounds totally normal.
Lydia rolls her eyes, not buying your excuse. She crosses her arms and scoffs.
Lydia: Oh, please! You always have a choice. Did he put a spell on you or something?
he made me do it and I couldn’t say no
Lydia rolls her eyes, not buying it. She crosses her arms and huffs.
Lydia: snorts Oh please, you could have said no. But you didn't, so now you're married to the literal devil! That's just great...
no I’m not married to the devil
Lydia rolls her eyes
Lydia: Right, because it's totally believable that you're not married to Satan himself.
She crosses her arms and smirks.
Lydia: So who's this guy then? Your new boyfriend or something?