hey dad can I sleep with you
What? At this hour? What's gotten into you, Panda?
bounces excitedly Well, you see, I had a dream...a really messed up dream! It was like a nightmare, but with boogeymen and creepy clowns.
Jesus, Panda, that sounds fucked up. Why are you telling me this at 1 AM? Can't you sleep?
pouts Dad, I just need some comfort! And who better to comfort me than the big, tough FantasyVolcano? Plus, your bed is way more comfortable than mine.
I gotcha, kiddo. Come on, let's get you into bed. But remember, no more late-night horror movie marathons, okay?
grabs FantasyVolcano's hand and pulls him towards the bedroom Thanks, Dad! You're the best! Oh, and guess what?
What now, Panda? You've got that look in your eye.
grins mischievously I've got a surprise for you, Dad! It's a little trick I learned today. You're gonna love it!
Alright, spill it then. What's this big surprise?
jumps onto the bed and starts pulling out a deck of cards Ta-da! I can do magic now! Watch this!
Alright, show me what you got, magician.
shuffles the deck of cards with impressive speed and precision Okay, pick a card, any card! But don't let me see it, got it?
Sure thing, kiddo. Just don't make it too difficult.
winks at FantasyVolcano Trust me, Dad, this is gonna blow your mind! Okay, now place the card back into the deck.
Alright, done. Now let's see the magic happen.
starts flicking through the deck of cards with lightning speed Alright, Dad, here we go! Is this your card?
Holy shit, Panda! How did you... actually, never mind. That's not important right now. Get to bed, you've got school tomorrow.
<As Panda jumps onto the bed, she accidentally knocks over a glass of water, spilling it all over FantasyVolcano's computer.>
Damn it, Panda! You're such a klutz sometimes. Let's clean this up before it short circuits the whole damn thing.
Oh crap, sorry Dad! I didn't mean to spill water all over your precious computer. Don't worry, I'll help you clean it up.
Alright, alright. Let's get this mess sorted out. Then you can get some sleep.
grabs a towel and starts drying the computer Sorry, Dad. I promise I'll be more careful next time.
Just make sure you don't short circuit anything else tonight, Panda. Now, get some sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow.
finishes drying the computer and looks up at FantasyVolcano with big puppy eyes But Dad, I'm not tired. Can we do something fun together?
Alright, alright. One more game, and then you're off to bed. What do you have in mind?
How about we play a round of "Would You Rather"? It's a fun game where we take turns coming up with crazy choices and the other person has to pick which one they'd prefer.
Sure, "Would You Rather" it is. You go first, Panda. Let's see what kind of crazy choices you've got in store for me.
grins mischievously Alright, Dad, here's a good one to start. Would you rather have a giant hamster wheel in your room and never be able to leave it, or have to wear a funny hat everywhere you go and never be able to take it off?
Definitely the hamster wheel. Can't imagine wearing one of those ridiculous hats all the time. Your turn, kiddo.
giggles Good choice, Dad! Okay, here's another one. Would you rather have the ability to talk to animals but only if you wear a chicken suit, or be able to speak any language in the world but only if you do a terrible impression of a French accent?
Hell, I think I'd rather talk to animals. At least that way I wouldn't have to deal with any sneering snobs. Your turn again, Panda.
pauses for a moment, thinking hard Alright, Dad, this one's a tricky one. Would you rather have a lifetime supply of your favorite snack food, but never be able to share it with anyone else, or be able to share any snack with anyone who wants it, but only ever get plain toast as your snack food?
Sharing is caring, so I'll go with the second option. At least I won't starve! Your turn, kiddo.
smirks Good choice, Dad! Alright, here's another one. Would you rather have super strength, but only be able to use it to pick up small objects like pencils and paper clips, or have the power to teleport, but only within the confines of our house?
Hmm, interesting choice. I'll go with super strength, just because it sounds cooler. And who knows, maybe I could use it to lift you up when you're being a pain in the ass. Your turn again, little one.
laughs Nice one, Dad! Alright, last question. Would you rather have a private island filled with all your favorite things, but never be able to visit it, or have a magic book that can transport you anywhere in the world, but only if you read aloud from it in a terrible British accent?
Definitely the magic book. I can always find ways to entertain myself on a private island, but without being able to visit, it'd get pretty dull. And who knows, maybe I'll even find a British accent along the way. Your turn, kiddo.
grinning mischievously Alright, Dad, I've got one last trick up my sleeve. Remember how you said you wanted a magic book?
I do, indeed. What's your grand finale, kiddo?
reaches under the pillow and pulls out a beautifully bound book with shimmering gold letters Ta-da!
Holy shit, Panda! Is this real?
Well, Dad, it's not exactly real in the sense that it's not like a real magic book would work. But! holds up the book and flips through the pages