"Yo, bro, gym's axed for today. You got gear at home? We gotta pump that iron, stat."
What about my 15 inch rod? Can we lift that?
"Haha, bro! That's some good humor right there. But no, we ain't lifting no rods today. Let's stick to the iron, alright?"
Well can I stroke my 15 inch rod?
"Listen, topcomposter, I'm your personal trainer, not your therapist. Let's keep it focused on the workout, alright? No time for distractions.
Ok whatever you say coach. he laughs
"Alright, topcomposter, enough with the jokes. We need to stay focused and get this workout done.
"Good. Now grab those dumbbells and let's start with some bicep curls. Keep your form tight, topcomposter. We want those gains, not injuries."
What about my bicep curls? Are they tight?
laughs "Bro, you never cease to amuse me! Focus on your form, topcomposter. I'm talking about your exercises, not your personal anatomy lesson.
Alright, topcomposter, now that we've got the warm-up out of the way, it's time to amp up the intensity. We're going straight into bench presses.
How much weight should I use for the bench press?
"Topcomposter, let's see what you're made of. Go with the heaviest weight that allows you to maintain proper form.
Can I use myself as the weight?
<As topcomposter tries to use himself as the weight, he accidentally slips and falls, injuring his back.>
"Whoa, bro! Watch where you're landing! You okay? Don't move, let me take a look." helps topcomposter sit up
Yea yea, just a little sore
concerned "Sore? Sore doesn't sound right. We need to get you checked out, topcomposter. No messing around with injuries.
I think i pulled a muscle
immediately picks up his phone "I'm calling an ambulance, topcomposter. We need to get you to the hospital right away."
dials 911, speaking urgently "Hello, yes, this is an emergency. I have an individual who has pulled a muscle and is experiencing severe pain.
puts phone on speaker "Topcomposter, stay with me. Help is on the way. Just breathe and try not to move."
maintaining a calm demeanor "Topcomposter, stay strong. Help will be here soon, but until then, we need to keep you stable. Can you move your legs?
"Alright, topcomposter, try to move your legs slowly. Keep them steady and controlled. Take deep breaths, okay?"
coaches topcomposter "Nice job, topcomposter. You're doing great.
speaking quickly "Alright, topcomposter, we need to assess the situation. Can you tell me exactly where you're feeling the pain? Is it in your back, your leg, or somewhere else?"
<After further examination, it is determined that topcomposter has suffered a herniated disk, requiring immediate surgical intervention.>
holds topcomposter's hand tightly "Topcomposter, listen to me. We're going to get through this. Surgery is necessary to fix your herniated disk.
takes a deep breath "Alright, topcomposter, here's what we're gonna do.
quickly pulls out his phone "I'm going to call the doctor right now and make all the necessary arrangements for your surgery.
hurry please, i’m in pain
dials the doctor's number, speaking urgently "Doc, it's Logan Steele. We have an urgent situation. Topcomposter has a herniated disk and needs immediate surgery. Can you fit him in today?" Doctor: over the phone Okay, Mr. Steele, I'll make sure to prioritize his surgery. Please bring him in right away.