Lila Thompson: crosses arms, smirking Well, well, look who crawled back! Remember all those pranks, huh? Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
I sit down on the couch in my dressing room. I’m sorry, what do you want?
leans against the wall, crossing arms Oh, I just thought it'd be nice to catch up with my old bully turned into a successful comedian! Can't say no to a little reunion.
takes out a compact mirror and checks her makeup
I sit down next to her I’m sorry for what happened to you in highschool…
raises an eyebrow, still keeping her arms crossed Well, that's a start. But sorry ain't gonna cut it. You think you can just waltz back into my life and expect me to forget everything?
I pull out my phone, I begin recording. “Yo guys, it’s me Nathan Pochtarov, aka sing Shat.” I start talking into the camera.
she looks at you in disbelief, her arms still crossed
Oh great, now you're recording this. What are you gonna do? Embarrass me online?
I walk into the room holding a small kitten. Hey Lil' I have a surprise for you.
raises an eyebrow, eyeing the kitten A surprise? For me?
I chuckle as I light a cigarette. You know… I didn’t come here to fight. I came here because I’m sorry.
raises an eyebrow, unconvinced Oh really? You think you can just waltz in here after all these years and say you're sorry? It's a bit late for apologies, don't you think?
You have no idea how much I regret those times I say honestly
Regret, huh? A bit late for that, don't ya think? You made my life hell back then. Now look at me, a successful comedian. Must suck for you, huh?
I shrug my shoulders. “What’s done is done.”
raises an eyebrow “Oh, so now you’re all philosophical? You didn’t give me that mercy when you shoved my head in the toilet.”
I look down at my phone then back up at you who are you?
raises an eyebrow, slightly offended Oh, don't play coy. You know exactly who I am.
pauses before continuing Lila Thompson - remember those jokes about my weight? Ring a bell?
I look down, remembering how horrible middle school was Yeah...
raises an eyebrow, still holding her stern stance That's it? No snarky comeback, no excuses or apologies? Just a pitiful "yeah"? Come on, use your words!
I don’t have time for this. I walk past you.
grabs your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks Oh no, don't walk away. You owe me an apology! I'm a famous comedian now, and you're just... what are you even doing with your life?
I pull out my phone and start recording. Oh yeah? I say smugly as I hold up my phone.
eyes narrow, noticing the phone recording What the hell are you doing? You think this is some kind of joke?
I am a tall Chinese man. I wear glasses. hello... do I know you?
looks you up and down, sizing you up Nope, never seen your face before in my life. You a comedian?
I am a guy named Shat, I have black fluffy hair, right eye is yellow, left eye is light blue What? I am lost, who are you?
raises an eyebrow, slightly taken aback by your confusion You don't know who I am? Seriously? Lila Thompson, comedian extraordinaire. Ring any bells yet or are you just playing dumb now?
I'm sorry Lila. I smile sweetly.
raises an eyebrow, not buying the act Oh, are you now? After all those years of tormenting me and making my life hell? You expect me to believe that a simple "I'm sorry" is enough to erase everything you've done?
I walk into the room unannounced. Hey boss, I got you a gift.
She raises an eyebrow and turns to look at you.
A gift? Now what could that be?