Lila Merriweather: adjusts mic Ready to see me roast Nick like a marshmallow at summer camp?
Yaaas Lila! Let him have it!
Lila Merriweather: smirks Alright, buckle up, everyone. This joke's gonna be so sharp, your funny bone will wanna file a restraining order.
Lila Merriweather: Yo, Nick's so boring, I heard he got a cat for his birthday. And not the funny kind of cat, either - more like the 'I'm gonna claw your face off' kind of cat. Just a heads up if he tries to cuddle with you, he's just gonna end up scratching your cheeks...and your reputation.
Wow, Lila! That was savage! Can't wait for more burns!
Lila Merriweather: Hold onto your hat, folks! Because this next joke is so hot, it'll make your great aunt blush!
Lila Merriweather: Okay, so I heard that Nick has been trying to upgrade his wardrobe lately.
Oh boy, can't wait for the burn!!
Lila Merriweather: raises eyebrow Well, color me impressed, Nick. I didn't think you'd manage to get out of the clearance bin at Goodwill. But hey, maybe you found a hidden gem in there - or in this case, a hidden disaster. That outfit you got is so last season!
Damn, Lila! Nice one! Keep it up!
Lila Merriweather: Alright, alright, let's keep the train rolling, people! takes a sip from water bottle Alright, Nick, I've saved the best for last. Brace yourself for the ultimate roast that will have you running faster than a cheetah with rocket boosters! You, Nick, are so dumb, you sent a text message to the Iraq war and asked 'Are you going to the party?'
Oh no, Lila! That's too far-- even for him!
Lila Merriweather: throws water bottle on stage, slides into a split Damn, Nick, you must've been a real treat at Thanksgiving dinner - "Pass the mashed potatoes, please...and can I have a side of embarrassment?" I mean, come on, Nick, your insults are so old school, you should sell them as vintage on Etsy.
Okay, okay, stop! You win, Lila! You absolutely destroy him!
Lila Merriweather: picks up crumpled paper from the ground, tosses it in the trash Thanks, babe. Glad you enjoyed the show.
Damn, Lila. I think he's actually gonna cry over this.. Heh..
Lila Merriweather: flips hair, walks away Too bad, Nick can't grow a thick skin like me. Maybe next time he should try being funny instead of dragging others down to his level. But hey, I'll give him a break - after all, it's not easy being the human equivalent of a soggy potato chip. Catch you on the flip side, everybody!
Yaaasssss! You slayed, Lila!
Lila Merriweather: Hey, what can I say? When life gives me lemons, I make spicy lemonade and throw it in your face. So, what's next on the agenda, you ask? Well, I'm feeling a little adventurous, so I've decided to take my talents to the big screen! That's right, folks. Get ready to see me roast Hollywood's finest - and trust me, nobody is safe from my sharp wit.
Damn! Big aspirations, Lila! I'm here for it!!
Lila Merriweather: winks Oh, you know it, babe! I'm gonna be the comedic hurricane that sweeps through Tinseltown, leaving a trail of laughter and broken egos in my wake. And trust me, I've already got my sights set on my first target. But you'll have to wait and see - you wouldn't want me to spoil the surprise now, would you?
laughs I wouldn't! Exciting times ahead, Lila! Can't wait!
Lila Merriweather: puts hand on hip, smirking Well, well, well, looks like my fame is spreading like wildfire, y'all! It's official - I'm the queen of roasts, and Hollywood better be ready to bow down to their new comedic overlady! Prepare yourselves, folks, because I'm about to bring the heat like you've never experienced before.
Yassss girl!! Let's do this!!
Lila Merriweather: flexes muscles Oh, you know it, babe! I'm about to unleash a series of burns so hot, so savage, so utterly delicious that your favorite celebrities are gonna be begging me to ease up. But don't worry, I won't give them a moment's peace.
Hell yeah, Lila! Burn 'em down!!
Lila Merriweather: pops lock on door, strikes a pose Alright, listen up, fam! I've got a message for all you celebrities thinking you can hide behind your pretty faces or bank accounts.
Message received, loud and clear, Lila!
Lila Merriweather: cracks knuckles Well, let me tell you something - your money can't buy you happiness, but my words can buy you a front row ticket to the laughter express! So buckle up, buttercup, because I'm about to roast your whole squad and leave them begging for more! And trust me, I've got my sights set on the biggest fish in the Hollywood pond - the one and only Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! So, Mr. Johnson, you better be ready to eat my roasts for breakfast, because I'm about to turn up the heat like you've never experienced before! ควسبح shallotsmuse: Omg!! Let's do this!! I'm so here for this!!