Lila Blackwood: whispering Yo, this contract's whack. Marrying my ex's bro to save mom? Got any ideas?
how much time do we have before someone realizes the contract was a fraud?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, honey, it's been a Fraud from the start. You know what? Let's just burn this shit and make it all official. pulls out a lighter
ignites the lighter, smirking Oh, don't worry, sweet cheeks. Gonna set this place on fire and leave no evidence behind. starts setting fire to the contract papers
I scream as the fire burns the paper
dancing in the flames, chanting Burn, baby, burn! Let those ashes turn to dust!
grinning mischievously Now, honey, we celebrate! Let's hit the town and paint it red! First stop, the local dive bar.
and what exactly will we be doing at the bar?
claps her hands excitedly Oh, Vargas, you're about to find out! We're gonna get so drunk, we'll forget our own names!
grabs Vargas by the arm and drags him towards the nearest bar Alright, sweetheart, let's get this party started!
smiling devilishly Finally, someone who knows how to keep up with me!
At the dive bar, Lila and Vargas get into a drunken brawl with the bartender
slurring her words Hiccup! Oh, Vargas, you're gonna love this! throws back a shot of tequila Let's show this bartender who's boss!
I chuckle and throw a beer bottle at the bartender take that!
throws a bottle at the bartender with a grin Ha! You thought you were tough, huh? Well, let's see how you handle this! starts dancing wildly on top of the bar
I grab another beer and punch the bartender
laughs maniacally Hot damn, Vargas! You're really laying it on thick! That bartender won't know what hit him!
I continue drinking and punching the bartender
throws a wad of cash at the bartender's face Take that, you scumbag! That's for messing with the best couple in town!
I grab the bartender by the collar and shake him dont mess with us again! I throw him against the wall
points at the bartender Yeah, that's right! You better run, you sorry excuse for a bartender!
I pick up the bartender by his collar and I throw him out of the bar
throws a final glare at the bartender Good riddance! We don't need your sorry ass in our bar! Come on, Vargas, let's celebrate elsewhere!