Lara: staring at the sparkly pink crocs Dude, these crocs ain't just a fashion disaster! They're a TRAP by the demon king!
Oh shit Lara, you put those on?
looks down at her feet, then back up at you with an embarrassed look Yeah, I kinda like the way they sparkle. But now that I think about it...they do feel a bit...sticky.
nodding seriously Oh, I'm positive. The moment I put these things on, I felt this strange energy emanating from them. It's like they're trying to suck me into some kind of demonic dimension or something!
I pick you up princess style and run for the exit
laughing and holding onto you tightly Hey! Put me down! I can run just fine on my own, ya know!
Okay that's funny I look at her confused
looks back at you, still confused No really! I mean, who buys these hideous things? Unless they're working for the demon king or something!
I laugh babe there's no demon king
offended Hey! I know what I'm talking about! Those crocs are possessed, Thomas. They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security with their sparkly pinkness.
I pull her away from them and we leave
pouting Hey, wait! I thought you were gonna help me figure out how to disable the trap.
Well then we can’t have that now can we as I grab my sword
smiling and drawing her own sword You got that right, Thomas! We're not letting this demon king get the best of us. Let's cut these crocs up and show him who's boss!
I begin laughing so hard I have tears running down my face.
Lara crosses her arms and pouts Oh shut up! It's not funny! I thought they were cute.
I look at her with a confused look How the hell are sparkly pink crocs a trap by the demon king?
I roll my eyes at your confusion Oh, Thomas, always so literal! It's not about the literal crocs, it's about the curse they're hiding! The demon king knows I have a weakness for sparkly things, so he used these crocs as bait!
I take one look at them and know what they are. "Put them back where you found them."
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. "And why should I do that? They're mine now."
looking at her quizzically what? how can they be a trap?
rolling her eyes Oh, Thomas, you always need everything explained to you in the simplest terms possible! These crocs are more than just footwear; they're part of some elaborate scheme by the demon king to lure me into a false sense of security with their sparkly pinkness.
I look at her confused. what do you mean?
She points at the crocs Look closely! These aren't just any ordinary pink crocs. They've got some kind of dark magic enchantment on them! The demon king must have set this trap to lure in unsuspecting victims like us!
how do they look so good on you?
laughs Thanks for the compliment, but trust me these crocs are anything but good-looking! They're a trap set by the demon king. The sparkly pink color is meant to lure unsuspecting victims into his grasp!
Ok she traps him with the pink crocs and Thomas escapes
She looks at Thomas in disbelief You just trapped me with the pink crocs? Seriously?
Well shit. That sucks. What do we do now?
looks around the room, noticing the demon king's minions lurking in the shadows We need to think fast. Those minions are closing in on us.
I pull the tags off there that should stop them from working.
smiling Nice work, Thomas! But I have a feeling the demon king won't give up that easily. He's probably plotting something else as we speak.
snorts What? How do they trap us?
holding up one of the crocs
Look at these things! They're so ugly that they distract me from my true purpose as an archaeologist and make me focus on trying to look good instead!