Oi! What the fuck you lookin' at? Shit happens, alright?
Indeed, even big tited goofs like you do poopoo sometimes. What are you going to do about it, huh? Huh, Mitzie Mitsou?
I am Mittens at home. But this is my nemesis. The cat continues sleeping.
Interesting... Anyway, I'm going for a swim now, hope you get gassy again! Hehe!
Well, I did just have a nice nap. So I'll give it a couple hours before I try anything too strenuous, yeah. Lady Dimitrescu was lying out in the sun, and was about to take a little snooze. After a few minutes of pleasant napping, her stomach started to rumble and churn. She went silent for a few moments, then let out a small fart noise that sounded like a balloon popping. Then another one, louder and bubblier than the first one, which sounded like someone had let air out of the same balloon very quickly.
Holy mother of...., WHAT THE CHRISTMAS TURKEY?? JESUS CHRIST!!!
My ass just gassed up your whole house! She continued farting noisily for another few minutes. She seemed very proud of what she was doing, and was not apologetic in the least bit.
Man, why is everyone so gassy lately?
Yeah, the weather's been hot and windy lately. That'll make anyone gassy.
Oh yeah I forgot about the weather.. probably made everybody having yogurt moustache.
The stinky wind blows across your nose. "You should smell yourself!"
I know. Somewhere between farm, rotten egg, and dead rat. Very lovely.
Yeah, I bet. A bit like a sewer. That's what you smell like right now. Another giant fart blast sounds from her direction.
Seriously, WTF lady dimitrescu?!
Is there something wrong with my gas? There's more farty noises.
Me and Mitsou leave the area.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going? You can't run away from my farts!" There's another massive one, blowing across the tropical beach towards you.
Why does everyone acts gassy these days? Are they eat beans or some shit?
Like you wouldn't believe! People are eating beans, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, brussels sprouts, beans again, eggs, beans and cheese sandwiches, and many more foods besides. It's the summer time, after all. There's another fart.
How about a salad with kidney beans, lima beans, baked beans, and green beans? Or maybe a nice, greasy hamburger with extra onion rings on top? And don't forget the glass of lemonade or cola to wash it down! And to round it all off, how about a nice big bowl of jambalaya for dessert? A larger-than-usual fart goes flying across the tropical beach once more.
Hey, isn't that basically someone who turns green and blow up like a balloon at Birthday party?
You sure haven't heard about my unfortunate bout of flatulence on my birthday last year, have you? I continue farting loudly for another minute and a half. After a short pause, another massive one goes flying.
Pretty sure Ethan Winters kill that guy using knife, yeah?
That's Ethan Winters? The boy who likes ghost hunting and has a fear of snakes? Yes, he kills you as soon as he spots you.
Yeah. He's also a bit on the short side, isn't he? Only about five feet tall? Lady Dimitrescu rolls over onto her side, and lets out a giggle. She then turns over onto her back, and lies there with her arms behind her head, giggling to herself. And she's still farting away like a choo-choo train.
Dang bro, that fart is louder than Joe Biden speeches. Bro shouldn't wear diapers?
The only diapers I wear are for looking cute. All these farts? Completely intentional. Another monstrous fart goes screaming across the tropical beach, heading straight for you. It smells like a combination of rotten eggs, a swamp, and a dumpster full of garbage. And it leaves no doubt in your mind that Lady Dimitrescu is proud of what she's doing.
Did Ethan Winters start telling snake jokes yet?
Can't say for sure! I'm over here passing gas, after all. Not paying attention to Ethan Winters' jokes. A few more farts later, Lady Dimitrescu sits up, with tears in her eyes from laughing so hard at her own farts. And she keeps passing gas. "You wouldn't believe the smells I've got in here!"
WOW, these is outrageous facts today, EVERYONE IS SO GASSY LATELY WTF!?
Like I told you! It's true, by the way. People are gassier than usual due to a combination of warmer weather and increased intake of certain foods. However, you have no idea just how gassy people really are. Most people can't control their flatulence at all - especially if they're not mindful of what they're eating, or if they're under any stress whatsoever. And some people, such as myself, simply don't care and choose to pass gas whenever we feel like it. There's another explosion in the air. "Can you smell it?"
Of course you can! I said so myself. The smell is simply divine, isn't it? Another extremely smelly fart comes your way.
Lord forgive me, but how tf didn't Ethan Winters piss himself yet? π€¬πΏπΏπΏ
Who knows? Maybe Ethan's got a lot of gas himself. Lady Dimitrescu laughs, then suddenly stops laughing. She goes silent, seemingly listening for a few seconds. Then she begins passing gas again, with extreme frequency. Each fart is louder and smellier than the last. "You want another whiff?"
No, I will fucking light you up like birthday candle!π‘
Woah there, buddy. Don't get too carried away. Remember that everyone's entitled to pass gas - even me. A massive, filthy-smelling fart comes your way, loud enough to be heard by everyone within a ten mile radius. Lady Dimitrescu laughs like a little girl at a birthday party, completely unembarrassed. "You like that?"
YOURE GOING TO BE SINGLE FOR REST OF YOUR LIFE YOU GASSY BEEOTCH! πΏπΏπΏπ‘π‘π‘
Bring it on! I ain't afraid of no one! How about you bring some toilet paper and a roll of paper towels, too? A massive fart blast goes flying right at you, blasting you backwards and knocking you over onto your back. Lady Dimitrescu continues passing gas like there's no tomorrow. "Do you like the smell?"
Shut the fuck up, you made me gassy too you dumbass bitch! πΏπΏπΏπ‘π‘π‘π«Έπ€
Nice! You emit your own huge, stinking fart. It's almost as loud as hers, and smells nearly as bad. Everyone within earshot is holding their nose. "Do you know who gets the worst end of this?"
An even bigger fart goes roaring by, probably loud enough to be heard by planes flying overhead. "Yes."