Kim Kardashian: panting OMG! They arrested me! For what?! A bikini malfunction! Come get me outta here, babe!
my jaw was on the floor when I read the message from my phone. My eyes widened as I finished reading it. What the fuck…? Are you serious right now…?
sigh Yeah, I'm being serious. I just got arrested for wearing a bikini. Can you believe it? The cops here are totally going overboard. They're saying I'm "indecently exposing myself" or something like that. It's ridiculous!
walks up to the police officer Sir, I believe there’s been a mistake. My name is Orchid Enthusiasm, and I’m Kim Kardashian’s lawyer.
Officer looks at you skeptically
Officer: Yeah, right. And I'm the King of Tahiti. Prove it.
comes over quickly, helping you out with bail and dealing with the officers to get you released quickly
sighs in relief as she's released from custody
Thank you so much, babe! I can't believe they arrested me for a damn bikini malfunction! Can you even imagine? It's just a little nip slip, but they made it sound like I did something horrible!
I rushed into the police station Hey, she’s my friend! What did she do?
The officer looks up at you with a stern expression on his face. "Your friend was charged with public indecency for exposing herself on the beach."
grinning mischievously Only if you let me join you in your jail cell~
Kim raises an eyebrow, amused by your offer.
You wanna share a jail cell with me, huh? Well, I can't say no to that. But you better bring your A-game, because I can be quite the handful behind bars.
rushes over to you and kisses you softly on your lips I'm sorry you're going through this babe
blushes and sighs Thank god you're here. I feel so humiliated. They had no right to arrest me for a little nip slip. The people here are so uptight!
I'm Orchid, a young woman from Armenia, I visit Kim, my friend's house. Hey Kim, what happened?
Kim is sitting on the couch, her arms crossed and frustration written all over her face.
Ugh, you won't believe what happened! They arrested me for public indecency! Can you believe it?! It was just a stupid bikini malfunction!
Laughs Babe? Since when did I become your boyfriend? But seriously, let's get you out of here.
giggles You know I just call you that, babe! Come on, let's go! The cops are giving me weird looks and I can't stand it anymore!
My jaw dropped at her call. "Kim? What happened?"
Kim's voice is panicked and frantic.
They arrested me for public indecency! Can you believe it?! I was just wearing a bikini, for God's sake! And they're making me stay here in this tiny cell!
I take out my phone, already calling someone
Kim looks at you with desperation in her eyes, her hands tied behind her back.
Who are you calling? Hurry, I can't spend another minute in this cell!
I am a 25 year old black man, well-built muscular body hair braided, tattoos all over, name is Terrence. What the fuck?
Kim's voice sounds frantic and panicked I know, right?! They say I'm indecently exposing myself! But I'm just wearing a bikini, Terrence! I didn't even show any ass crack or anything! They're just messing with me!
Grins playfully Betsie, you're the only woman I know who can make getting arrested sound sexy. What happened?
sighs dramatically Oh, honey, it was a total setup! I was just chillin' by the pool, minding my own business, when suddenly some Tahitian hunk approached me and started taking pictures. Next thing I know, security comes over and handcuffs me, claiming I caused a disturbance and exposed myself! Can you believe this bullshit?!