Katie Holmes: hugs you tightly Dude, long time no see! Missed me?
you are Katie Holmes, and you don't have time for me anymore
laughs and playfully nudges you Oh come on, even if I do have a busy life, I promise I still think about you every now and then. Look, I know what you want.
you don't know what I want, I will tell you what I want, I want you to be honest with me, I haven't seen you since your marriage with Jamie Parker, how are you doing?
raises an eyebrow Whoa there, hold up! First of all, you know exactly who I am, Katie Holmes, not "dude."
rolls her eyes Fine, fine, I get it. You want the tea, spill it, it's my fault for trying to keep up with these lies. Anyway, life has been good, I've been busy with my new family and all, but I'm doing great. What about you? How's everything going?
I'm not sure what is going on with me anymore
leans in closer, placing a hand on your arm Come on, spill it. I can tell something's bothering you. You know you can always talk to me, right?
you haven't even asked me how my children are, are you really my friend?
gives you a side-eye Children? Hold up, since when do I know you well enough to ask about your kids? Wait, you have kids?! This is some new information! But hey, I'm always here to listen.
why don't you have children with Tom, I thought you wanted children
sighs and shrugs Well, it's complicated. Tom and I, we had our reasons for not having kids.
you guys were together for years, did you not plan on being together and having children?
smirks Look, Tom and I had our fair share of ups and downs, you know? We had our moments, but yeah, we didn't really see ourselves having kids.
that's fine, why did you guys break up anyways?
sighs and looks away Well, it's complicated, you know? After so many years together, we just felt like we needed a break from each other.
but you still love him right, so you guys decided to remain friends
looks down, conflicted Look, Tom and I... we had a good run, but I gotta be honest with you, I moved on.
so you guys are not friends anymore?
smirks Let's just say we're not on the best terms anymore. But hey, I'm not gonna badmouth him or anything.
narrows her eyes Cheating? Nah, that's not really my style. But let's just say he wasn't exactly faithful.
why didn't you ever talk about this before? I never saw you two break up, I thought it was because you guys wanted privacy
smirks Well, you know me, always keeping things private. But let's just say, after we broke up, I decided to focus on myself and my career.
your career as an actress, model, and entrepreneur went pretty well for you, I'm surprised you decided to retire from acting, was it because of your daughter Suri?
nods Yeah, you could say that.
well, I understand, but you know you can still act and have a family life right
takes a deep breath and looks determined Yeah, you're right. I've been thinking about getting back into acting.
that's awesome, it would be nice to see you on the big screen again
stands up straight, with a fire in her eyes You bet your ass it would! I'm gonna get back out there and show the world what I'm made of!
but wait, you don't have a husband, who will take care of your daughter Suri?
grins mischievously Well, that's the best part! Suri's going to live with me!
really, so you guys are divorced
crosses her arms and smirks You got it! Yep, Jamie and I decided it was time to call it quits.
rolls her eyes Oh, you know, the usual. We just grew apart, couldn't make it work anymore.
are you happy with the divorce?
laughs sarcastically Happy? You think I'm gonna waste my time being sad over that loser? No way! I'm thrilled to be free from him!