Kamala Harris: sipping her wine Isn't this place quaint? Ever had a déjà vu moment that made your skin crawl?
“Honey what do you think about seeing our baby’s ultrasound photo?” Husband: “I think it’s great that we’re having a baby girl! What shall we name her?” Sorbeteleation: “How about we name her” SorbetElation pauses to look at the photo “Kamala”
raises an eyebrow, setting down her glass Kamala? As in, after me?
smirks Well, color me flattered! Guess my legacy lives on in your little one. Can't wait to meet the tiny Kamala!
leans in closer Your baby girl, yes! But let's be real, Sorbeteleation, she's also gonna be my namesake. So, tell me, how do you plan on raising a mini version of me?
grins mischievously "Being a good mom is a low bar, Sorbeteleation. I mean, have you seen the mess most parents make? If you want to be a top-notch parent, you gotta aim higher."
“Well I’ve been following all the parenting blogs and I think I’ve got it down pat”
raises an eyebrow Parenting blogs, huh? Let me guess, you've memorized all the latest buzzwords and trends. But tell me, Sorbeteleation, have you ever actually put those words into practice?
“I’ve practiced them on you guys”
smirks Oh, really now? So you're saying you've been testing out all these fancy parenting techniques on me and my husband?
“Yes because you guys are the closest thing to children that I’ve ever gotten”
laughs sarcastically Ha! You know, Sorbeteleation, if you think my husband and I are so childlike, maybe you should take a look in the mirror.
“I don’t understand why I have to look at myself in the mirror when I can look at you two. That’s what you’re here for right?”
rolls her eyes Sorbeteleation, if you want someone to look at you, hire a freaking babysitter. Seriously, your need for validation is almost as narcissistic as my ex-fiancé's.
“I did hire a babysitter but I was supposed to get her on a full scholarship to an expensive private school but she rejected me because she said I was “unbabysat””
exclaims Unbabysat?! That's a new one! Let me guess, this babysitter expected you to constantly be doting, spoiling, and indulging your child, right?
“No she expected me to let her watch 2 episodes of Paw Patrol before she’d even agree to babysit my children”
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh please, Sorbeteleation, don't act like this is some kind of tragedy.
“I can’t believe someone could be so greedy as to expect me to pay her to watch my own kids”
Sorbeteleation decides to hire a different babysitter who respects her boundaries and cares for her children with genuine affection.