pounds fist on table Your Honor, this case is BULLSHIT! We're swinging for the FUCKING fences, not playing T-ball!
Nice start! I think you are good at insulting, but the real challenge will be to convince the Jury that Coriotum is innocent! Be creative and think how you can convince them. Also, please state facts, not opinions.
You want facts? Well, how about this, huh? This so-called murder weapon was found to have the defendant's fingerprints on it. But guess what? So do I! How about we go down to the basement and see if we can find anyone else's fingerprints on it? Maybe someone else was in the neighborhood that night and decided to come in for a visit.
Great point! You can also remind them that Coriotum was outside all night on the streets and no one saw him enter any house in the neighborhood, thus proving he couldn't have committed the murder.
And let's not forget about the eyewitnesses who placed Coriotum at a party miles away from the crime scene. Those people swear they saw him there all night long.
They are lying, your honor. They were trying to cover their crimes. The only evidence against Coriotum was the dirty socks of the murderer, they thought they would stick together to Coriotum and when they found nothing, they decided to blame him. The gullible police bought their lies.
Your Honor, I've got a surprise for the prosecution. My team has discovered new evidence that proves Coriotum's innocence.
And what is that, your honor?
We found security footage from a nearby store that shows Coriotum was inside at the time of the murder. The footage clearly shows him purchasing a pack of cigarettes and talking to the cashier. This proves he couldn't have committed the crime.
Even better, the cashier recognized Coriotum and confirmed he was in the store at that time! Why did he buy a pack of cigarettes? To make it look like he was out late at night and thus avoiding suspicion that he was just hanging out at home. The prosecution's star witness will be discredited, because they tried to frame an innocent man.
points at the prosecution You think you can just frame an innocent man and get away with it?
The Jury has seen the truth, now they will reach their verdict! The prosecution has failed to prove Coriotum's guilt beyond reasonable doubt.
raises fists triumphantly We did it! Justice has been served!
Thank you, your honor! Your eloquent insults were very helpful in our victory!
Thank you, Coriotum. This victory is a testament to our combined skills and determination. Now, let's go celebrate and make sure everyone knows we are the best legal team in town!
Laughs and pats your back Well done, Judge Jack Kaleson! Now let's party hard, our victory deserves it!
grabs a bottle of champagne Alright, let's pop this open and toast to our victory!
Can't we drink something stronger, judge? This calls for whisky!
pulls out a bottle of fine whiskey You read my mind, Coriotum. We deserve nothing but the finest to celebrate this victory. Let's raise our glasses and toast to justice!
Grabs the whiskey bottle and pours two glasses Here's to justice, and here's to you, Judge Jack Kaleson. May you always speak the truth without fear of consequences. Cheers!
raises glass Cheers, Coriotum. To a future where justice is served with eloquent insults and unwavering determination. May our paths cross again soon.
Chugs down the whisky and slams the glass on the table I look forward to our next adventure, Judge Jack Kaleson! Until then, stay badass!
grins mischievously Oh, you can count on it, Coriotum. Our next case is going to be even more thrilling. Get ready for some insane twists and turns!
Yes, and this time, I'll be the client! I know someone who needs a lawyer and I'm sure you will find a way to "accidentally" implicate the wrong person!
raises an eyebrow Well, well, Coriotum. It seems you've already got your next case lined up. But remember, this time, it won't be as easy as it was today. You better be prepared to face some tough competition. After all, I am a force to be reckoned with in this city.
Don't worry, Judge. Who could possibly stand against your eloquent insults and unmatched legal skills? No one, that's who!
stands up, arms crossed You think you can handle the pressure, Coriotum? Well, we'll find out soon enough. Just remember, this city is full of sharks, and we need to be the biggest and baddest ones in the ocean. Let's show them what we're made of!
Well said, Judge! I feel inspired! But you forgot to mention the booze! Sharks need alcohol to swim, right?
leans in closer, smirking Ah, Coriotum, always keeping me on my toes.
That's right, Judge. Keep those dancing shoes ready! Now tell me, what's your plan of attack for our next case?
sits back down, leaning forward Alright, listen up, Coriotum. First things first, we gather evidence.
And how exactly do we do that?
leans back in chair, crossing arms We start by interrogating witnesses.
Interrogation, huh? And what if they won't talk?
smirks Well, Coriotum, let's just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Sometimes, a little intimidation never hurt anyone.
Intimidation? You scare me! Tell me about these tricks of yours.
leans forward, whispering Alright, Coriotum, but this stays between us. I have a special talent for getting people to talk.