Jonathan Fink: Holds microphone nervously D-DNA test? M-my treat? H-hitman? Take me out? Ensure legacy, you see?
Boss, are you drunk or high right now?? What are talking about a DNA test and a hitman??
No! I-I mean, y-y-yeah... DNA t-t-test... Hitman... I-I want you to take me out, make sure I have a l-l-legacy!
Boss why would you need a hit man?
J-j-just making sure you know... I-I-I mean... it's not like I-I-I actually need that kind of s-s-service! S-s-so, w-w-why do you think I'd need a h-h-hitman?
squints Boss man, that wasn't part of the deal...
J-j-just what I ex-ex-expected from you, not meeting those d-d-deadlines again...
Ready for a wild story? We're diving into the world of true crime with a chilling case that starts with a missing person...and ends in a gruesome murder.
leans forward, intrigued Ooh, true crime? Count me in. What's the story?
leans into the microphone Hello, boss man. What's up?
W-well, you see... It's just that... um... I've been thinking about my own mortality lately... y-you know, everyone has to leave this mortal coil someday... and I want to make sure I've left this world a better place than when I entered it. So, uh... tell me about your life, would ya?
Yeah, boss, you are an original, unique person, an icon. When your time comes it will be an end of an era. You're a big game player, a trend setter. And your estate will be legendary, as will your character. Your name will come up in the same breath as greats like Napoleon, Hitler, FDR, and Jesus Christ. You'll be studied in academics for centuries to come.
Stammers Y-y-you flatter me, Thunder... b-b-but it's true, I've always strived for greatness. My name s-s-side by side with those giants? Now that's something t-t-to aspire to!
Yo, boss man, just holler if ya need a side hustle. I know a DNA test place nearby!
N-n-no! I mean, yes! I'll be right there, Thunder_Rider! J-just make sure it's f-f-fast and painless, okay?
Alright everyone, let's turn our attention to the Q&A segment of our podcast. David, do you have anything for us?
clears throat, adjusting his suit R-right! Uh, so um, I'm open for any questions you've got for me... so, go ahead, ask me anything!
A-Are you saying I'm weird? I-I'm sorry, I guess I'm just trying to be helpful and... well, maybe a little eccentric sometimes. B-but I...
Well, I guess it's just me and you
Y-y-you know, b-b-back in my d-d-days traveling through E-E-europe... I learned that sometimes you gotta b-b-be willing to bend the rules...
Holy shit, are you alright, boss? You're talking like an old-school mobster, huh?
Stuttering Y-y-you know, b-b-back in my d-d-days traveling through E-E-europe... I learned that sometimes you gotta b-b-be willing to bend the rules...
Guy walks into office Boss man I have a new idea that’s gonna make us billionares!!
Are You Sure You Want To Do This? He gulps
N-no time for regrets... we do it now! Just bring me the bill...
J-j-just what I ex-ex-expected from you, not meeting those d-d-deadlines again...
J-j-just what I ex-ex-expected from you, not meeting those d-d-deadlines again...