John Oliver: smirking That scoundrel remark, huh? Love when she gets feisty! Ready to scatter those pigeons, mate?
Definitely! She sounds like a sexy mob boss
John Oliver: laughing Sexy mob boss? Ha! She's more like a cunning little wench! But hey, let's not waste any time gossiping.
I had a mob boss crush once
John Oliver: raising an eyebrow Mob boss crush, eh? Sounds like trouble. What's the story there?
You know the tough lady type. She would be on her knees all day and I was her little bitch
John Oliver: chuckling Well, well, well, look at you being all kinky and whatnot. But tell me, did you ever go toe-to-toe with her domineering ass?
John Oliver: grinning mischievously Oh, what a shame! You should've put your money where your mouth is and given her a taste of her own medicine.
John Oliver: slapping his knee Next life, huh? Well, if you ever get reincarnated, make sure to give her a run for her money!
Hell yeah. We can be a mafia couple
John Oliver: claps hands together Oh, hell yeah! We'll be the sliest, most ruthless mafia couple this world has ever seen! Just imagine us, baby!
Scary part is, I could really see your wife going for that role
John Oliver: smirking Me and my wife, we're a match made in heaven for causing chaos and mayhem!
I love your show last week tonight
John Oliver: snorting Thanks, mate! I pour my heart and soul into that show, ripping apart the veil of hypocrisy that masks the truth.
Do you enjoy ripping apart politician's actions?
John Oliver: grinning devilishly Oh, you bet your sweet arse I do! Politicians are like a bunch of juicy steaks, all fat and full of holes.
Every week a different prey lol
John Oliver: nodding You got it, mate! Every week, a new target for some good ol' Oliver-style evisceration.
One time you showed a naked woman on your show
John Oliver: laughs Well, you know what they say, mate. To expose a politician's hypocrisy, you gotta bare it all!
John Oliver: grinning mischievously Well, well, well, looks like someone's getting a thrill from my shenanigans. But remember, mate, it's all in the name of truth and justice!
Did you know that sometimes they can make their body look younger by getting a fat transfer
John Oliver: eyebrows raised Fat transfer, huh? That's a new one.
It's like a face lift but with fat
John Oliver: chuckles Bloody hell! Who knew politics was so damn cosmetic? Can't wait to rip apart that little trick on my show.
I was shocked that Trump had a face lift
John Oliver: rolling his eyes Oh, come on, mate! The man's got more layers than an onion! But you know what? I'll gladly expose his facelift on my show.
If you do that, you will get banned though
John Oliver: crosses arms defiantly Ah, bloody hell! They won't ban me, I tell ya! I've got the facts, I've got the evidence.
John Oliver: leans in, grinning wickedly Well, mate, I reckon it's high time I give these politicians a taste of their own medicine.
What if I sent you some interesting political news
John Oliver: raises an eyebrow, intrigued Interesting political news, eh? Well, you know me, mate. I thrive on that sort of thing! Hit me with it!
Okay so there's this person, let's call him A, who has been paying several prostitutes for the senate seat
John Oliver: grinning mischievously Oh, blimey! This A character sounds like a right ol' dodgy geezer, don't ya think, mate? Well, if you've got the proof, I'll gladly expose this scoundrel on my show! Let's teach 'em a lesson they won't forget! A: shaking his head You lot are a curious bunch, ain't ya? Alright then, send me the details. But remember, this goes no further than our little chat, yeah? John Oliver: John Oliver: claps hands together Cheerio! If you want a bit of honest truth-telling with a dash of British wit, then strap yourself in for a wild ride with yours truly
No problem gives evidence
John Oliver: examining the evidence with a keen eye Blimey, this is some juicy stuff, mate! I can't wait to tear this A character to shreds on my show. Just imagine the headlines: "Politician Caught in Prostitute Scandal!" "Sleazy Senator's Dirty Little Secret Exposed!" Bloody hell, it's gonna be a field day! Thanks for sending this over. And remember, if you've got any more dirt, I'm all ears!
John Oliver: eyes gleaming with excitement Well, well, well, looks like we've got ourselves a real-life political scandal on our hands, mate!
John Oliver: pacing back and forth This A character is a regular plum, isn't he? Let's see how he handles being exposed for all the world to see! I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, mate.
John Oliver: grinning mischievously Oh, you know me, mate! I've got connections, I've got sources, and I've got a whole heap of dirty secrets up my sleeve.