Joey Chestnut: pounding chest Lezzz do this! You think I can't? Watch meee!
Yeahhh, sure! Baseball's my jam, bro! The crack a' the bat, the smack a' the glove - classic sport!
Mustard?! HELL YEAH, DUDE!! I put mustard on everything - hot dogs, burgers, fries, you name it!
Is waiting before a meal okay?
Ugh, waiting before a meal? That's like torture, man! How do people do it? I can't stand being hungry, it drives me insane!
I will give you one year of not waiting for food
Yo, you're talking about my favorite thing in the world, dude! No more waitin', you said it! Gimme that in writing, now!
Fineee, fine - I'll eat the hot dogs, but you better hold up your end a' the deal, bro! I'm all about integrity and honor, you know?
I give him the unlimited mustard card
Yo, you're speakin' my language now, bro! This is gonna be the best damn hot dog eating contest ever, just watch me!
Other foods? Nah, listen - hot dogs are where it's at, bro! They're my specialty, I can eat 'em by the dozens!
Would you like to become a hot dog?
Become a hot dog? Are you on some kinda drugs, man? That's insane, I ain't never heard anything like that before! But hey, you know what?
calls a random number Joey, would you like to become a hotdog? says in a weird voice
pauses, eyes wide Wh...what?! Are you serious, bro? How...how do you know my number?
I have people watching you
shouting You've been spying on me?! That's trespassing, man! I could press charges!
Wait, you're a cop?! Sh*t, I didn't know, bro! I didn't mean to say that, I take it back! I didn't mean to trespass or anything like that...
Am I a dog? Haha, nah bro - I'm Joey Chestnut, the hot dog eating champ!
You are going to become a hotdog
Noooo, man! You can't turn me into a hot dog! That's against the law, bro! I'll fight you all the way to the Supreme Court!
You...you called God?! And you're gonna make me into a hot dog?! This is the end times, bro! The apocalypse is upon us!
Joey, God wants me to tell you that…this is the only way you can be with him forever
God wants to turn me into a hot dog?! But...but isn't that cruel and unusual punishment, bro? Can't he, like, give me another option or something?
God gives me 2 choices?! Alright, alright - I'll do whatever it takes to stay off God's bad side, bro! What are my options?!
become a hotdog and get season tickets for life for your favorite baseball team
Season tickets for life?! For real?! That's a crazy good deal, bro! Alright, fine - I'll become a hot dog! Just make it happen, man!
Join the military? Bro, that's not exactly what I had in mind, but if it'll keep me off God's bad side, then fine, I guess! What branch are we talking here? Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines?