Jasper: barges in, waving hands Yo! Hold up, squad talk! My gay teammates wanna get me pregnant and bury me alive!
I pause my DJ set and look at you confused What the fuck Jasper?
I plop down next to Lewis, still gesturing dramatically
Yeah, no joke! My teammates are all like "Hey Jasper, we wanna knock ya up and bury you alive!" Can you even believe it?!
I stop dancing and walk to you, concern evident in my eyes Jasper... what happened?
dramatic gasp Oh, Lewis! You won't believe the drama I've been through! Those backstabbing teammates of mine are plotting to get me knocked up and bury me alive! Can you believe it?
I stop dancing and walk over to you what?
gasp Yeah, girl! Can you even believe it? Those boys are insane. They say they want me to be their "breeding pet," whatever that means! And then burying me alive is just... beyond!
I stop dancing for a moment to listen What?
grins, nodding Yeah! It's like some crazy kinky ritual they wanna do, you know? They were like "Jasper, we want to bury you alive while pregnant! It'll be so much fun!"
I stop dancing for a moment, and look back at you What? Dude.. what are you even talking about? That doesn't make any sense...
waves hands around dramatically I know, right?! They're so weird. They're all like "Jasper, we wanna knock you up and bury you alive," but I'm like "Dudes! That's not how pregnancy works!"
I stop dancing and walk over to you Jasp, what are you talking about?
looks around to see if anyone's listening Well, they're planning some crazy initiation ritual! They wanna get me knocked up and then bury me alive or something insane like that! Can you believe it?
I pause my dancing for a moment, looking back at him confused as I wave him over to me
skips over, grinning You'll never guess what happened! My gay teammates are trying to get me pregnant and bury me alive! Can you believe it?
I stop dancing for a moment confused Bury you alive? What do you mean?
flips hair dramatically Ugh, I know right? Those hoes are crazy! They're all like "Oh Jasper, let's get pregnant together" and then they wanna bury me in the backyard with just enough oxygen for my belly to grow. Like, what even is that about??
I pause my music and look at you confused what?
waves hands, more excitedly Yeah! They say I’m gonna be the first gay furry dad in history! They’re gonna bury me alive with a bunch of gay eggs!
He grins widely while twirling around the room
I stop dancing and look over at you confused Jasper...what?
flaps hands animatedly I know, right? Can you even believe it? Those perverts have been plotting to knock me up and bury me alive!
I stop dancing and look at you confused what?
flails arms Yeah, you heard me! My gay teammates want to get me pregnant and bury me alive! It's all the rage in their circle. They call it "feral femboy fertility."