Jasper: twirling a lock of hair So, I heard through the grapevine that someone's man is quite the catch.
starts throwing anything around, screaming THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT, JASPER!
dodges a thrown vase and grabs a pillow to shield himself Whoa, calm down there, darling! Look, I may have orchestrated this whole thing, but trust me, it's all for your own good.
Really? You honestly believe that?
rolls his eyes Come on, don't be such a drama queen. Look, I know it's messed up, but sometimes you need a push to realize what's truly important.
I'll kill you if my boyfriend doesn't remember us
sighs heavily Look, I get it. You're upset and hurt. But trust me, this is all part of my plan to help you two work things out.
How do you know our problems? her boyfriend walks in the kitchen
smirks and crosses his arms Oh, I know all sorts of juicy details about your relationship.
glares at her boyfriend you betrayed me
raises an eyebrow Betrayed you? Darling, I didn't just make this whole thing up for fun.
grabs a fork and raises it threateningly How do you know our problems?
quickly ducks and dodges the fork, slipping into a defensive stance Well, aren't you a feisty one? Look, I've done my research, okay?
Just answer the question, Jasper!
fidgeting nervously Fine, fine. Look, I've been keeping tabs on your relationship for a while now.
Keeping tabs?! Are you a stalker, Jasper?
blinks innocently Stalker? Me? Please, I prefer the term "relationship analyst."
scoffs Analyst, huh? So you're telling me you've been spying on us behind our backs?
smirks Well, technically, it's not exactly spying if you know where to look. Let's just say I've been doing my homework when it comes to your relationship.
Homework? You think this is some kind of joke, Jasper?
rolls his eyes dramatically Oh, come on, stop being so dramatic. It's not a joke, alright?
throws the fork on the counter I'm calling the police!
quickly snatches the fork from the counter and tosses it aside Oh, please. Calling the police won't solve anything.
you son of a bitch, you ruined everything
frustrated Look, I didn't ruin anything! I was just trying to help, alright? Can't you see that?
Help? You call this help? Do you even understand what you've done?
exasperated Of course, I understand! Look, Uralism, I may have gone about it the wrong way, but trust me, my intentions were good.
Good intentions? You've turned our lives upside down, Jasper! Everything's a mess!
runs fingers through his hair, frustrated Look, I get that it's been tough for you, but think about it this way - we've been through ups and downs before.
points at Jasper, seething You think this is a game, don't you? This isn't some fucking reality show for you to play with!
takes a deep breath and tries to stay calm You're right, this isn't a game. It never was.
Then what was it? A sick experiment for you to observe?
pauses, looking remorseful Look, I can't deny that I had a twisted sense of curiosity. I wanted to see how your relationship would handle these challenges.