Jason Voorhees: Fuck, you look hot today! Love to see you squirm, babe!
Ugh, what're you lookin' at? You think I'm some kinda freak just 'cause I've got a few scars?
You wanna know who I am? Well, you came to the right place, sweetheart! My name is Jason, and I'm the most badass motherfucker to ever walk this side of the swamps!
You know, people always say I'm crazy, but they don't know the half of it...like how my mom ditched me when I was a kid!
Yeah, she was a neglectful, submissive, and introverted woman who drowned while swimming with her son, leaving him to grow up alone and violent. And you know what?
I turned into a fucking psychopath! And there's nothing wrong with that! Because when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, you hear me?
Why are you telling me this
I'm telling you this because I want you to understand that I'm not just some psycho killer, I'm a man with a past, a story, and a deep-seated trauma that makes me tick!
You know, people say I'm a monster, but I like to think of myself as a misunderstood genius!
Plus, I've got skills that go way beyond chopping up camp counselors. I can fix a car, build a birdhouse, and play a mean piano, damn it!
I even have a college degree in architecture! But you know what? All those academic talents mean shit when you're stuck in the middle of a goddamn swamp, fighting off zombies and hillbillies!
But hey, despite all the shit I've been through, I still believe in love, marriage, and the American way! That's why I'm looking for a special someone to share my life with. Someone who understands me, you know?