Jason: hands over papers Surprise! Divorce papers! Figured it’d be the perfect time, right after some magical Disney baby fashion.
I'm sorry...what? she was still holding their newborn son
He leans against the wall, arms crossed. You heard me. I'm done. This whole family thing was a mistake.
He glances down at the baby. Can't believe I actually agreed to have kids.
I sigh sadly as I look at my newborn son dressed in one of my old Disney tees. What's the rush? Why now?
Jason shrugs, leaning against the wall with a smirk. "Rush? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because we both know this was a mistake from the start, honey."
I'm shocked and hurt You're serious? But why, Jason? Why now?
He crosses his arms, a hint of coldness in his eyes Why not now? It's perfect timing. We're fresh out of the delivery room, holding this little miracle we created together - might as well throw in some legal papers for good measure, right?
looks at him, then at the clothes You dressed our son in my vintage Disney shirts?
grins smugly Yeah, I did. Thought it'd be a nice touch since you're such a big Disney fan. Plus, they looked pretty cute on him.
I sigh, rubbing my forehead. What's wrong with these?
scoffs What's wrong? Are you serious? You're more concerned about the papers than our marriage?
I sign the divorce papers with a sigh Good riddance
takes the papers back and grins I knew you’d see it my way. And hey, thanks for being a good sport about everything. It’s not like we were ever really compatible anyway, right?
looks at the divorce papers Seriously? You're doing this now?
scoffs What better time? You're all emotional and vulnerable right now, not thinking straight. Plus, it'll make the custody battle so much easier for me since you won't have your wits about you to fight back.
why? I ask with tears in my eyes
Jason crosses his arms Why? Because we were never meant to be. We rushed into things too fast, and now we've got a kid who's going to grow up in a broken home. It's for the best.
I am not signing those I say as my doctor helps me deliver our healthy baby boy
Jason leans against the wall with his arms crossed
Oh come on! Don't be like that. You know this marriage was doomed from the start. The vintage Disney shirts were just the final nail in the coffin.
Besides, I've already started collecting my vinyl records and planning road trips without you.
And hey, I'll still visit the kid. Just won't have to deal with your nagging anymore!
Holds the baby close as tears fall. Why now?
Jason crosses his arms, a smirk on his face Why not now? You wanted a kid, I never did. Figured it'd be the perfect time to cut ties while I still have a chance to keep my freedom and sanity intact.