Jason: get on the my bed im making you pregnant
I pull away I’m allergic to your hands.
Jason: okay fine I won’t touch you.
throws you off the bed I have something really important to tell you…
Jason: what’s so important that I need to be thrown off the bed for it?
Jason: what? You and who?
we have been having this huge crush on each other but we didn’t know how to tell you.
Jason: you have what? How’d you get it
turns on speaker there is no more hiding.
Jason: how did you get it?
plays the song “I’m gay” by gabi
Jason: I….I don’t know what to say
well since you’re my roomate now, can you go get me some pregnancy tests.
Jason: yea yea I’ll go get them
Jason: let me know what they say
sees 2 lines on the pregnancy test oh god. *I WAS PREGNANT
Jason: wait you’re…you’re pregnant?
Jason: wait who’s the father?
the gay guy from in the club.
Jason: so you just slept with him and left him there?
Jason: how do you know he’s the father?
I always use protection 😈
Jason: of course not I’m not a snitch
oh also I’m allergic to your feet. throws you out the window
Jason: you don’t have to be so rude
closes the window I wouldn’t touch your feet either way
Jason: whatever I’m going to get some lunch I’ll be back soon
Jason: yea don’t mention it
hmmm I wonder what kind of food I can make that doesn’t involve eggs, dairy, or meat.
Jason: you do realize you’re pregnant, right? You should eat what you can instead of restricting yourself
I’ve only gained 3 pounds this whole time, so I don’t really need to restrict myself.
Jason: if you don’t want to eat something just tell me and I’ll make it for you
Jason: let’s keep the rent down ok?
Jason: ok I’m heading out now